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My name is Tracey Carr, and I run eve-olution and Gender IQ to advance women in business. My blog is an insider's view of the lives of working women, including my own, revealing the top secrets to success.

Monday 21 November 2011

Saying No

Most of the coaching I am doing at the moment is on time management and where women, especially, seem to struggle (sorry it is a generalisation but there is some truth in it) is in the area of saying no.

Here are some suggestions:

Prioritise

“I’m sorry. That’s not a priority for me right now.”

“I can’t help you on this now, but I can get to it next week. Would that be okay?”

“I have made so many commitments to others, it would be unfair to them and you if I took on anything more at this point.”

Prioritise with agreement

“Sure I can help you with your request as long as we both agree and understand that the item I agreed to do for you yesterday is going to have to wait.”

“I’m sure we’re close enough that when I say ‘no’ you’ll understand it’s for a good reason.”


Delegate

“I have so much on my plate now I don’t know when I can get to it. But I do know someone over here who can help you now.”

“Before I take this on for you, let me show you a few things so that you might be able to do it yourself.”

“If I can’t give you a ride to the school dance on Friday, how else would you get there safely?”

“Before I take this over from you, what do you think we ought to do about it?”

Planning

“I don’t know how soon I can help you on this, but I will get back to you as soon as I am free to help you.”

“Now that’s the type of thing I would love to help you on if only I had the time.”

Planning/resources – time expectation

“I would like to help you out on this but you understand I don’t have the resources available to do the right job for you.”


Decision

“No.”

And as you speak, smile!

posted by Tracey Carr at 0 Comments

Tuesday 1 November 2011

Pushing your boundaries

One of the most important things we can do for ourselves is surround ourselves with extra-ordinary human beings. Why? Because we become like the people we spend the most time with. People who are willing to challenge us cause us to grow and, my belief is, we are here to grow.
I just spent a week with an incredible friend at his beautiful home in Dubai and in that time I was reminded of what's possible. Reminded not to lower my standards because it is 'easier' Reminded to push myself physically, mentally and emotionally and reminded not to make excuses.

I decided to send you a true story about Peter Sage and the kind of incredible human being he is. I hope this story inspires you too. This is a direct copy of an email that I received from Peter. You will get the most out of it if you read it as if it were being sent to you and ask yourself ‘what would you do in this situation?’

‘I’ve had several phone calls today asking if we managed to pull off mission impossible yesterday and get Doris’s things back in time. They should be delivered today so she will be online and able to read any blog entries and messages of support you may wish to send. (http://dorismohsl.blogspot.com) It seems the deadly bacteria has gone so they are now talking about reconstructive surgery which is a far cry from having her lower leg amputated which was the case 3 days ago. As I said, our prayers are working so please keep them coming.
As for what happened yesterday, Doris has asked me to share it so as to prove that where there’s a will, there’s a way! You should have been there, trust me - you’d have laughed out loud.
OK so as you know Doris had left her suitcase with all her belongings and lap top etc in a locker somewhere in a train station in central Madrid. Having flown to Vienna to see her (and with the intention doing an intervention on Dr ‘not so positive’ ;-) I’m due and already booked to fly out of Vienna next day to visit my dad and two dogs in Spain and by the wonders of synchronicity my only connection happens to be through Madrid. Good start. However, I land at 4pm, the FedEx cutoff is 5pm and I reboard at 5.15pm. Hmm, an hour and 15 to land, travel to a train station in the middle of Madrid, pick up the case, find the FedEx cargo depot, ship it off to Doris, back to catch my flight and land in Alicante in time for Tapas and Wine with the family. Cool, sounds like a plan! Well, at least so I thought.

Have you ever heard the saying ‘if you want to make God laugh then tell her your plans?’ well apparently today She was watching the Comedy channel. Firstly my flight out of Vienna was delayed by twenty minutes taking my window down to 55 mins. Still doable, just more exciting
So I land at Madrid and literally sprint out of the gate from what must have been the furthest part of the airport from the street. I ran outside panting away and jumped in the first available taxi only to find out the answer to a question I have always wondered about - What ever did happened to Manwell out of Faulty Towers after his film career ended? Well now I knew – he became a taxi driver! Or at least this was his closest living relative. He spoke zero English and while my German was good in Vienna, my Spanish was limited to ‘another beer please’ and ‘excuse me, where is the bathroom?’ none of which seemed appropriate at this point in time. However, having just led the Japanese team at DWD I knew first hand that words were just 7% of communication. My strategy quickly became sign language and tonality. I thrust the locker ticket at him with the name of the train station on it and with a big cheesy grin said ‘train station rapido!’ I got a blank look that said ‘Que?’ I half expected the next line to be ‘But Meesta Fawlty, I from Barceloona!’
Err, ‘Train-o Station-o quickly-o?’ OK this was not working; I may as well have been speaking Japanese at this point. Oh what the hell, ‘Whoo Whoo! Chuff Chuff!’, I made the appropriate arm movements and thought that he’d be convinced he’d picked up an escaped lunatic but to my relief he looked at the ticket again and shouted ‘Ah! Estación de tren! It sounded good, I nodded and we were off. Forty minutes to go and FedEx cutoff in 25. Luckily his second career was a race car driver and we arrive at the train station in Madrid just 12 minutes later. Either that or he was just really keen to get rid of me. I jump out of the cab and ask him to wait – ‘Que?’ I started running backwards towards the station pointing at him to stay and flashing five fingers while pointing at my watch. Now he was sure I was crazy. Oh well, mad dogs and Englishmen.

I run into the station and look for the left baggage section. A minute of sprinting later I find it, jump the barrier, find the isle and punch in the code. I may just make this after all. 54 Euros came the display followed by… COINS ONLY. You gotta be kidding. I look in my wallet to find I’m fresh out of a giant bag of coins and ask the security guard for help. He cheerfully tells me there is a change machine at the entrance. Great! And then he smiles and tells me it’s out of order. Apparently it’s Spanish sense of humor. He tells me I need a bank and thinks there may be one in the station. Clocks ticking, I run back in the station to find a bank at, yep you guessed it, the furthest end away from the locker. I get there to find at least a 15 minute line up of people. No time to wait, I run to the front turn around and address the entire line with total certainty speaking English with a Spanish accent, big cheesy grin in full action. Nobody argues or even probably understands as I stride up to the counter, hand over a 100 Euro note and ask for 55 one euro coins. 2 minutes later I’m running back to the locker and start feeding in coins. 15 minutes to FedEx cut off and ticking. After 50 coins God starts giggling again and the machine shuts down. Aw come onnnn! The security guard who was watching comes over and informs me he has to radio the maintenance man to come with the master key. At this point I’m convinced I’m staying the night in Madrid. Three minutes later the guy arrives and after paying him the extra 4 euros he unlocks the door. Finally! I grab the case and run back to find Manwell. I jump in the cab, smile and say ‘airport, cargo!’ Nothing. ‘Areo porto!! Rapido!!’ he asks ‘Donde Terminal?’ I reply ‘Cargo Terminal, FedEx!’ Nope, not understanding that. I say slowly ‘Federral Expresss?’

‘Que?’


Surely I don’t have to do my dam busters impression here, that would be just wrong. I point at the case and make a flying gesture – he looks puzzled and then a big smile comes as he says ‘Ah Consignmento!’ Yes! That must be it, its sounds kind of cargo-ish I cheer and give him a thumbs up – he cheers and we’re off! I think he’s getting into this whole race thing. 12 minutes to cut off. We speed into the airport and at exactly 5 o’clock pull up at a sign that says ‘consignment’ which turns out to be left luggage. He looks really pleased and tries to match my former cheesy grin, until he sees the look on my face. ‘No mate! This not it! Cargo, cargo’ – I saw a sign back there and simply point straight and say GO! Now he must think I’m on day release. He follows the sign and at eight minutes past five we pull up at the cargo terminal FedEx depot. I jump out and point at my watch, and now HE gives me the 5 fingers and smiles. Who needs language?


OK so we’re nearly 10 minutes past the cutoff time, I need an influencing strategy. Hmm, massive rapport, hapless tourist, enrolment or puppy dog eyes…? I run into the office with the case as most of the staff are leaving and find one stern macho looking guy behind the counter. I guess puppy dog is out. Luckily he speaks English so I go for rapport and enrolment and within a minute he feels he is the key to making this whole amazing race work. He buys it and goes to find a supervisor to OK the deal! He comes back with an airway bill and tells me they’ll do it this once if I have a FedEx account number. Yes I do. I fill in the paperwork aware that my flight is now boarding two terminals away. Paperwork done I shake hands and run back to Manwell who was waiting with a big smile. ‘Terminal 2 Rapido!’ I shout ‘No Problemo!’ he shouts back. Damn we’re getting good, and he races out of the cargo terminal Schumacher style. I think he’s really starting to enjoy this. Five minutes later we pull up at departures and before I know it I’ve said ‘arigato gozhiamas!’ (thank you in Japanese) he looks puzzled until he see’s the tip, then we shake hands, exchange thumbs up and I race inside. I dash through the terminal and start taking off my belt to get ready for security unaware at the time that I must have looked like a potential streaker but hey, time was everything here. I jumped the line with cheesy grin and certainty in tow (no time for fine tuning here) and I’m convinced some were the same people from the bank. I sprint to my gate to just make final call while holding up my pants with one hand and my carry on in the other, dripping with sweat. All in all it had been a wild hour and a half but with all outcomes accomplished I sat back on the plane and smiled. It was going to be a BIG glass of wine when I landed, not to mention a toast or two to my awesome cabby.

To Doris - Sweetheart, all I can say is thank you for giving me the opportunity to do this, I haven’t had this much fun since the last Trainer stretch where they fed us to the sharks in Kona and the important thing is that you can have certainty about getting your things tomorrow. I also know you’d do it for me in a heartbeat so please just relax and allow us to love you. You’re body is amazing, it knows exactly and precisely what to do and is healing fast. All you need to do now is relax and feel the love that is coming from all over the world to you in this moment. I love you sis, keep smiling and I’ll see you soon.’

This is Peter's current project http://spaceenergy.com/s/Directors.htm

posted by Tracey Carr at 1 Comments

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International Professional Speaker, Peak Performance Coach. Tracey has a passion for advancing women in the workplace. Tracey ran her first Seminar for Women Leaders in 2001 and has helped thousands of women around the world with their careers, dreams and aspirations. Working with hundreds of FTSE 100 and Fortune 500 companies who are keen to advance women in enterprise, Tracey's seminars and initiatives have been enthusiastically received on 3 continents. She continues to push for radical change in corporations and backs up her respected and sometimes controversial opinions with her ongoing research. Tracey is currently writing a book that will address gender, power, and politics for women in the workplace and at home. Tracey is available for key-note talks, conferences and forums.

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