evesdropping

Should you change the core of your personality for your partner?

2012-01-22T15:52:00.000Z

Forgive me. I am going off-piste today. What I want to share with you is a thread from a social network and a chat between myself and a couple of my Mastermind buddies: Karl Whitfield and Mike Berry.

Since last weeks blog about heart energy for certainty and courage in challenging times, I have been inundated with requests for a Summer retreat to explore how to go from head to heart. It also spurned a few conversations about heart energy in relationships and the one below is so powerful in insight and learning that I wanted to share it with you.

Be warned. It is long! It is also deep and intimate but if this is an area that interests you then print it off and read, absorb and enjoy at your leisure.

The following is unedited and includes a beautiful piece of writing from my friend and buddy Karl

Karl Whitfield: Only if the changes fit with who you want to be.

Tracey Carr Great answer Karl Whitfield THANK YOU

You know, sometimes in our lives, we've been "us" for ages, and then you experience something or meet someone and you think "Hang on, I see me differently now, and I've been stagnating, and I need to evolve, it's time to change my game plan" and that event, person or experience (it may be a new partner, a new friend, a career change, an illness, who knows...) becomes the catalyst for your growth. In that context, change for the sake of your partner may be a lot more about you raising your own standards for yourself, as much as changing your personality because it plugs your partner in. Make sense?

Absolutely agree with you Karl Whitfield we change and grow through all experiences and that is my personal commitment to spiritual growth but what if the person is saying something about you that doesn't resonate but you can see their point of view. For instance many people might think that I am too dramatic and exaggerated and many don't like that but I 'decided' to like that part of me a long time ago and, in so doing, accepted that because it isn’t 'norm' some people may judge. Some will, some wont ..... so what ... But if the feedback is from somebody you care deeply about it's not so easy

I say you are who you are, and if you are happy with that, then change for no one. It's important to try to evaluate how others see you from THEIR viewpoint. Hitler probably thought he was a good guy, he probably thought he was following a righteous course, trying to eliminate weakness (as he saw it) and create a perfect race....but he clearly failed to evaluate his own beliefs and actions from an external point of view! (Forgive the rather extreme example!)

So many of us have character traits that don't meet with approval from everyone else in our lives (thank goodness...how boring if we were all the same and thought the same way and liked the same things...husbands and wives would be "one size fits all" and endlessly interchangeable! Vive le difference!!) and sometimes it is important to try to take yourself out of your own psyche for a while and see those traits in yourself from an external view, if you can. Then see how you feel about it. If you still like you the way you are, then you have integrity, so change for no one. But if your experience helps you see things differently, then you may want to change, and it will be easy, there will be no resistance.

None of us should change just to meet the 'expected behaviour' or 'desired image' that another projects onto us, but if others help us to see flaws in ourselves that we could improve, or if others help us to see ways we could grow and evolve and better ourselves, then there is no shame in saying "thanks for changing my view" and moving on, embracing change in the name of personal development.

Mike Berry: wow, brilliantly worded reply karl

We all have the ability to have different personas to suit different people and circumstances.

eg. I'm normally a very easy going, fun-loving guy, but when confronted by mr.angry last week, I turned into a powerful giant, with 18 years of martial arts black belt experience, and not to be messed with... fortunately he got the message without bloodshed or physical proof.

In your example here, It takes a 'big' person to say 'thank you for highlighting that', and then choosing to act on it (change) or not.

There is a nothing wrong with drama in the right circumstances, just as there's nothing wrong with slapstick at times.

... and I think you're spot on Karl re: perception - it's not necessarily "right or wrong", "truth or lies" - we all have our own filters, and tend to 'see' the world, people, words, language, circumstances and even intentions based on our own filters.

The sinking of the cruise ship off Italy is a great example... we can all 'look' at images and news items, and all have different reactions and thoughts... and that doesn't mean that we're right and everyone else is wrong if they have differing thoughts... it doesn't have to be 'black OR white'.

Fortunately Tracey, we all (well most of us, haha) love your drama most of the time. Especially when we know it comes from the higher frequency intention of love.

Karl Whitfield: Thanks Mike, yeah bang on, it's all filters. Someone once told me "we all think we are all right all the time" Think how nations go to war and religions can hold people to almost polar opposite views...yet all those people believe they are right. There is rarely a right or wrong, rarely a black or white, just perceptions.

1luvx that's my motto :-)

Lots of learning here for EVERYONE if they choose to read it. At the end of the day as long as two people can relate without the masks of the archetypes then it is OK for the archetype to be loved for what it is (drama, slapstick whatever) and the range is important too .i.e. to also embrace the warrior and sovereign too (love to have seen your warrior Mike lol ) but pure love is a heart energy and it is still and it has nothing to do with masks/perceptions or archetypes or even rules ...for instance FB has 'in' or 'out' of relationship and it has 'complicated' but true love is none of these things and it is beyond restraint, labels and controls. This is my spiritual lesson at the moment ...to learn that love just IS and cant be labelled or controlled and how friggin amazing and liberating and FREE Is that ? :-)

True love IS "all" to people like me, for whom love is number one, my ruling emotion. True love conquers all, suffers in silence, fights eternally, forgives in an instant, is never afraid, will never stop, will never give up. I wrote something the other day about love, about this issue of should someone change or not...let me find it and copy it here, you'll like it...hang on...

Karl Whitfield Here it is:

I ask nothing of you but love. I have no long list of conditions to be met, things that must be done, no list of changes I would make to you, no ‘laundry list’ of ways I’d like you to change, or things I’d like you to do. I don’t want or need a ‘little woman’ to cook my meals or wash my clothes or clean my house. I do not need a domestic helper, I want a best friend. I don’t need a cook, I want a soul mate. I don’t need someone to clean my bathroom, I want someone to awaken my mind, stimulate my senses and engage with my passions. Life isn’t about a big house or a fast car or a handful of possessions, life is about the people we share our time on this wonderful Earth with, life is about the connections we make, the love we share, the lives we touch and the people who touch us. Life isn’t about a widescreen TV and a BMW, it’s about who you remember fondly in the last hours of your fading life, it’s about who you cried over losing, and who cried over losing you, it’s about the hands you’ve held, the lives you touched, the souls you helped and the hope and smiles you gave.

I don’t need someone to help with the bills, I want someone to share the laughter with. I don’t need someone to do the shopping or carry the bags, I want someone to create memories with me, to share sunsets and beach walks, log fires and summer evening walks in meadows of wild flowers. I don’t need someone useful to help me, I want someone passionate to adore me. I don’t need someone rich to prop up my finances, I want someone interesting with an enquiring mind to enrich my knowledge and senses. I don’t need some trophy to brighten up my arm when I’m out in public, I want someone kind who will nurture my loving heart in private at the end of the day, when I feel weak and tired. I don’t need someone strong to always grin and bear it all, I want someone honest and loving, to connect with me and share the tears and tantrums of a life well lived. I don’t need someone flighty who will only be there in the good times, I want a friend who will always be by my side, who will hold my hand for better, and for worse. I don’t need someone to help me spend my money, I want someone who wants to help me spend my life.

I don't want to control you, I want to be so enraptured by your commanding beauty that I am forever putty in your hands. I don't want to enslave you, I want to empower you. I could think of nothing more incredible, no natural sight more beautiful, than a woman completely free, empowered in her femininity, alive with all that is vibrant, engaging, sensuous, loving and tender in a woman's character. I don't need or want a slave in a 'role' as my domestic servant. I don't need to know if my prospective wife is "any good at cooking", I don't care if you are "keen on cleaning"...screw that, I can clean my own toilet, I'm a good cook, I know how to iron a shirt and if I don't have time to do these things myself I will hire someone to help, so that we can spend our time together. I want a wife with a personality and a sense of adventure, someone to stimulate me, challenge my intellect and encourage me, help push me to my limits, to make the most of my life, to be the best man I can be. I want a life partner I can talk to, learn from, someone who will fly with me, test me, enrich and nourish my soul. I want to lose myself in your beauty, lose myself in your charms, be constantly amazed by your inspiring company and be constantly breathless at your beauty and passion. Life should not be about "who can I get, who can I own", it should be about "how can I share, how can I give, how can I help this person to be all she can truly be".

I don’t need someone to model me to be their ideal, I don’t need someone who wants to change me, mould me, beat me into submission. As I don’t want to model, change, mould or beat you. I don’t want to imprison you in my specific vision of who you should be, or how you should look, or what you should do or say, it will never be my intention to shape you to my idea or ideal, and the very notion of such behaviour utterly disgusts me. Quite the contrary, I want to set you free, I want to free you to be more of you, more of who you are, more of the real, authentic, natural you. I want to set you free. I want you to be alive, enriched, awake, not trapped under the monotonous social hypnosis of modern life. I don’t want to see your stunning feminine beauty trapped, confined to a living stereotype, all your amazing potential paralysed in trying to conform to endless over-used social norms. I adore you for your individuality, your unique style, your free spirited sense of difference. I simply want to adore you for being you.

I don’t want to control you, I want to connect with you. When I look into your face, I don’t think about wanting to touch your breasts, I want to touch your heart. I don’t want to own you, I want you to be your own woman. When I look at your irresistible smile, I don’t think about wanting to penetrate you between your thighs, I want to penetrate your soul. Of course I want your desire, I want your lust, I want your passion, your touch, all your sensual feminine charms, of course I want all of you, but when we make love I want our deepest connection to be in our hearts and minds. I want your tender touch, your eyes, your lips, I want my mind to experience my orgasm before my body, I want to get lost in you, and I want you to feel utterly adored, appreciated in every way, safe, loved, free in your experience. I want you to know my world revolves around you and right there, right then, nothing else matters, there is no outside world, it’s just us.

I want to look after you, help you grow, nurture you, protect you, free you from masculine responsibilities and allow you to blossom in your femininity. I want to be your rock, your pillar, your hero, your best friend, your soul mate and your lover. I will have eyes only for you, forever, and you will know, every day, that you are the centre of my world.

I don’t need a little girl, I want a woman. A magnificent woman, fully feminine and in her beauty, is the most amazing creation on Earth. What more could any man ask for?

I ask nothing else of you, but love.

Rich Waterman When I truly started living what Karl just wrote my whole life changed. Not just relationships. We need to run a seminar on this stuff. Not enough out there.

Kerry Searle Very in-depth insights, thanks for sharing

How to have success....beyond NLP

2012-01-16T11:24:00.003Z

Both Tommy and trees enjoying success without effort!

I have studied and applied NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) for over a decade. I have been teaching, coaching and supporting the principles of NLP for over two decades. Many of those success strategies fit with what I learned from Psychology and the thousands of personal development books I have read.

But …..

It has become clearer to me, in recent years, that we are running around applying success strategies and yet there appears to be something missing. Why is it that some people can apply what they learn and fly and others can apply the same strategies and remain stuck? Why is it that I have taught the same material to thousands of people and it only seems to work in a big way for around 5% of them?

I feel very strongly about this complex subject and the lack of awareness around the root cause of success/failure that I will write a book on it one day but in this short blog I want to try and get across the importance of energy. Not your gung-ho, peak state energy (although this is important too sometimes) but the energy from your heart. Some of you will stop reading at this point because you tell me that heart has nothing to do with work and the energy of empathy, compassion and understanding are for outside work and don’t help you deal with deadlines, politics, pressure, poor performance or stress. I have to disagree and here’s why:

NLP principles

Let’s take a look at some of the more familiar strategies

Mirroring and matching
Align and re-direct
Visioning
Values and beliefs alignment
Thought-word-action-habit-destiny

It is probably the latter that gets close to the concept of energy but imagine this: I have decided I want a promotion or a sale. Step one, I imagine and vision my goal, Step 2, I learn from the best regarding what I don’t yet know, step 3, I make sure that my values and beliefs are congruent, step 4, I get myself into a peak state and approach my client or boss ….and that’s where it can go wrong …at the level of relationship.

We all know how it feels to be sold to by a smooth operator without integrity. Here’s the thing …you might think you have integrity but the energy you project lacks integrity and that’s the message you will convey. Unless your energy is totally toward supporting the other person, rather than getting from the other person, you will most likely lose the sale, lose the promotion, lose the job and yes lose the husband too!

This energy affects every area of your life and, like I said, is too complex for a short blog but I just want to leave you with the idea that if you are not having all the success you want in love, money, career, health then change the energy to that which comes from the heart instead of that which comes from the head. The energy that comes from the heart is 40 to 60 times more power powerful than that which comes from the head

So much of NLP has been about re-programming the mind but forgets the most important part...to remind us to re-programme out hearts too.

If you want to understand more about how energy can transform your life. Watch this short TED video by Dr Sue Mortimer who will explain what happens to you on a cellar level when you shift to the energy of the heart.

Dr Sue Mortimer

I have had some requests to run a Summer retreat on this subject. It is ever more important in the uncertain times we live in that we find an inner centre of core strength. If this interests you please email tracey@eve-olution.net

The Secret to Living is Giving

2011-12-29T13:14:00.002Z

Xmas Hampers for 440 vulnerable families, personally delivered, December 23rd, 2011

Each year, for the past ten years, myself and my daughters have volunteered a day of our time on December 23rd to pack and deliver food hampers to people who are vulnerable at Xmas time.

Last year we missed out on that opportunity and so this year the girls insisted that we make time because otherwise 'it doesn't feel like Xmas' (their words)

This is how I know that the 'seceret to living is giving' ...because the gift of giving 'feels' better than getting ...even to privileged teenagers from Surrey two days before Xmas!

This year, the London Basket Brigade packed 440 Xmas food hampers by lunch time. I think it was the fastest ever time and we were in our car with 5 hampers to deliver in Central London by 1pm.

Our lasting memory from this year came from our last delivery. After climbing a few flights of stairs in a block of flats we were greeted by a single Mum and 5 small kids. We always deliver the hampers anonymously and simply say 'we are just delivering a gift from a friend' On this occasion we had lots of tiny eyes staring in disbelief and in the background all we could see were beds in the two or three rooms they had. As we handed over the hamper and said goodbye a small child said to her Mother 'Mummy we have lunch' ....at which point I looked at my children and we cried as we walked down the stairs.

The secret to living is giving.

Here are two of my daughters with a new friend from Basket Brigade

Happy New Year. Make it your best year ever!

Workplace bullying

2011-12-07T22:14:00.000Z

My previous blog on 'saying no' prompted a few emails asking for advice on what to do about workplace bullying. It seems that the increase in stress brought about by the never-ending credit crunch has brought about an increase in unreasonable behaviour as well.

Intimidating behaviour isn't always overt and the worst kind is often unspoken, passive aggressive and manipulative. If your intuition tells that you all is not well and you are experiencing an increase in stress for no obvious reason, then look a little closer.

Do trust yourself.Your feelings are there for a reason and are trying to tell you something. Don't retaliate by joining the perpetrator at the same level. Stay neutral, stay centred and stay sane. Remember that it isn't about you so try not to take it personally.

A phrase I like to remember in difficult times is 'this too shall pass'

Research by the Workplace Bullying Institute, suggests that the following are the most common 25 tactics used by workplace bullies

Falsely accuses someone of "errors" not actually made (71 percent).
Stares, glares, is non verbally intimidating and clearly shows hostility (68 percent).
Discounts the person's thoughts or feelings ("oh, that's silly") in meetings (64 percent).
Uses the "silent treatment" to "ice out" and separate from others (64 percent).
Exhibits presumably uncontrollable mood swings in front of the group (61 percent).
Makes up own rules on the fly that even she/he does not follow (61 percent).
Disregards satisfactory or exemplary quality of completed work despite evidence (discrediting) (58 percent).
Harshly and constantly criticises having a different standard for the target (57 percent).
Starts, or fails to stop, destructive rumours or gossip about the person (56 percent).
Encourages people to turn against the person being tormented (55 percent).
Singles out and isolates one person from coworkers, either socially or physically (54 percent).
Publicly displays gross, undignified, but not illegal, behaviour (53 percent).
Yells, screams, throws tantrums in front of others to humiliate a person (53 percent).
Steels credit for work done by others (47 percent).
Abuses the evaluation process by lying about the person's performance (46 percent).
Declares target "insubordinate" for failing to follow arbitrary commands (46 percent).
Uses confidential information about a person to humiliate privately or publicly (45 percent).
Retaliates against the person after a complaint is filed (45 percent).
Makes verbal put-downs/insults based on gender, race, accent, age or language, disability (44 percent).
Assigns undesirable work as punishment (44 percent).
Creates unrealistic demands (workload, deadlines, duties) for person singled out (44 percent).
Launches a baseless campaign to oust the person; effort not stopped by the employer (43 percent).
Encourages the person to quit or transfer rather than to face more mistreatment (43 percent).
Sabotages the person's contribution to a team goal and reward (41 percent).
Ensures failure of person's project by not performing required tasks, such as sign-offs, taking calls, working with collaborators (40 percent)

If you feel you are being undermined and would like support or advice please contact me on tracey@eve-olution.net

Saying No

2011-11-21T09:32:00.000Z

Most of the coaching I am doing at the moment is on time management and where women, especially, seem to struggle (sorry it is a generalisation but there is some truth in it) is in the area of saying no.

Here are some suggestions:

Prioritise

“I’m sorry. That’s not a priority for me right now.”

“I can’t help you on this now, but I can get to it next week. Would that be okay?”

“I have made so many commitments to others, it would be unfair to them and you if I took on anything more at this point.”

Prioritise with agreement

“Sure I can help you with your request as long as we both agree and understand that the item I agreed to do for you yesterday is going to have to wait.”

“I’m sure we’re close enough that when I say ‘no’ you’ll understand it’s for a good reason.”

Delegate

“I have so much on my plate now I don’t know when I can get to it. But I do know someone over here who can help you now.”

“Before I take this on for you, let me show you a few things so that you might be able to do it yourself.”

“If I can’t give you a ride to the school dance on Friday, how else would you get there safely?”

“Before I take this over from you, what do you think we ought to do about it?”

Planning

“I don’t know how soon I can help you on this, but I will get back to you as soon as I am free to help you.”

“Now that’s the type of thing I would love to help you on if only I had the time.”

Planning/resources – time expectation

“I would like to help you out on this but you understand I don’t have the resources available to do the right job for you.”

Decision

“No.”

And as you speak, smile!

Pushing your boundaries

2011-11-01T09:29:00.000Z

One of the most important things we can do for ourselves is surround ourselves with extra-ordinary human beings. Why? Because we become like the people we spend the most time with. People who are willing to challenge us cause us to grow and, my belief is, we are here to grow.
I just spent a week with an incredible friend at his beautiful home in Dubai and in that time I was reminded of what's possible. Reminded not to lower my standards because it is 'easier' Reminded to push myself physically, mentally and emotionally and reminded not to make excuses.

I decided to send you a true story about Peter Sage and the kind of incredible human being he is. I hope this story inspires you too. This is a direct copy of an email that I received from Peter. You will get the most out of it if you read it as if it were being sent to you and ask yourself ‘what would you do in this situation?’

‘I’ve had several phone calls today asking if we managed to pull off mission impossible yesterday and get Doris’s things back in time. They should be delivered today so she will be online and able to read any blog entries and messages of support you may wish to send. (http://dorismohsl.blogspot.com) It seems the deadly bacteria has gone so they are now talking about reconstructive surgery which is a far cry from having her lower leg amputated which was the case 3 days ago. As I said, our prayers are working so please keep them coming.
As for what happened yesterday, Doris has asked me to share it so as to prove that where there’s a will, there’s a way! You should have been there, trust me - you’d have laughed out loud.
OK so as you know Doris had left her suitcase with all her belongings and lap top etc in a locker somewhere in a train station in central Madrid. Having flown to Vienna to see her (and with the intention doing an intervention on Dr ‘not so positive’ ;-) I’m due and already booked to fly out of Vienna next day to visit my dad and two dogs in Spain and by the wonders of synchronicity my only connection happens to be through Madrid. Good start. However, I land at 4pm, the FedEx cutoff is 5pm and I reboard at 5.15pm. Hmm, an hour and 15 to land, travel to a train station in the middle of Madrid, pick up the case, find the FedEx cargo depot, ship it off to Doris, back to catch my flight and land in Alicante in time for Tapas and Wine with the family. Cool, sounds like a plan! Well, at least so I thought.

Have you ever heard the saying ‘if you want to make God laugh then tell her your plans?’ well apparently today She was watching the Comedy channel. Firstly my flight out of Vienna was delayed by twenty minutes taking my window down to 55 mins. Still doable, just more exciting
So I land at Madrid and literally sprint out of the gate from what must have been the furthest part of the airport from the street. I ran outside panting away and jumped in the first available taxi only to find out the answer to a question I have always wondered about - What ever did happened to Manwell out of Faulty Towers after his film career ended? Well now I knew – he became a taxi driver! Or at least this was his closest living relative. He spoke zero English and while my German was good in Vienna, my Spanish was limited to ‘another beer please’ and ‘excuse me, where is the bathroom?’ none of which seemed appropriate at this point in time. However, having just led the Japanese team at DWD I knew first hand that words were just 7% of communication. My strategy quickly became sign language and tonality. I thrust the locker ticket at him with the name of the train station on it and with a big cheesy grin said ‘train station rapido!’ I got a blank look that said ‘Que?’ I half expected the next line to be ‘But Meesta Fawlty, I from Barceloona!’
Err, ‘Train-o Station-o quickly-o?’ OK this was not working; I may as well have been speaking Japanese at this point. Oh what the hell, ‘Whoo Whoo! Chuff Chuff!’, I made the appropriate arm movements and thought that he’d be convinced he’d picked up an escaped lunatic but to my relief he looked at the ticket again and shouted ‘Ah! Estación de tren! It sounded good, I nodded and we were off. Forty minutes to go and FedEx cutoff in 25. Luckily his second career was a race car driver and we arrive at the train station in Madrid just 12 minutes later. Either that or he was just really keen to get rid of me. I jump out of the cab and ask him to wait – ‘Que?’ I started running backwards towards the station pointing at him to stay and flashing five fingers while pointing at my watch. Now he was sure I was crazy. Oh well, mad dogs and Englishmen.

I run into the station and look for the left baggage section. A minute of sprinting later I find it, jump the barrier, find the isle and punch in the code. I may just make this after all. 54 Euros came the display followed by… COINS ONLY. You gotta be kidding. I look in my wallet to find I’m fresh out of a giant bag of coins and ask the security guard for help. He cheerfully tells me there is a change machine at the entrance. Great! And then he smiles and tells me it’s out of order. Apparently it’s Spanish sense of humor. He tells me I need a bank and thinks there may be one in the station. Clocks ticking, I run back in the station to find a bank at, yep you guessed it, the furthest end away from the locker. I get there to find at least a 15 minute line up of people. No time to wait, I run to the front turn around and address the entire line with total certainty speaking English with a Spanish accent, big cheesy grin in full action. Nobody argues or even probably understands as I stride up to the counter, hand over a 100 Euro note and ask for 55 one euro coins. 2 minutes later I’m running back to the locker and start feeding in coins. 15 minutes to FedEx cut off and ticking. After 50 coins God starts giggling again and the machine shuts down. Aw come onnnn! The security guard who was watching comes over and informs me he has to radio the maintenance man to come with the master key. At this point I’m convinced I’m staying the night in Madrid. Three minutes later the guy arrives and after paying him the extra 4 euros he unlocks the door. Finally! I grab the case and run back to find Manwell. I jump in the cab, smile and say ‘airport, cargo!’ Nothing. ‘Areo porto!! Rapido!!’ he asks ‘Donde Terminal?’ I reply ‘Cargo Terminal, FedEx!’ Nope, not understanding that. I say slowly ‘Federral Expresss?’

‘Que?’

Surely I don’t have to do my dam busters impression here, that would be just wrong. I point at the case and make a flying gesture – he looks puzzled and then a big smile comes as he says ‘Ah Consignmento!’ Yes! That must be it, its sounds kind of cargo-ish I cheer and give him a thumbs up – he cheers and we’re off! I think he’s getting into this whole race thing. 12 minutes to cut off. We speed into the airport and at exactly 5 o’clock pull up at a sign that says ‘consignment’ which turns out to be left luggage. He looks really pleased and tries to match my former cheesy grin, until he sees the look on my face. ‘No mate! This not it! Cargo, cargo’ – I saw a sign back there and simply point straight and say GO! Now he must think I’m on day release. He follows the sign and at eight minutes past five we pull up at the cargo terminal FedEx depot. I jump out and point at my watch, and now HE gives me the 5 fingers and smiles. Who needs language?

OK so we’re nearly 10 minutes past the cutoff time, I need an influencing strategy. Hmm, massive rapport, hapless tourist, enrolment or puppy dog eyes…? I run into the office with the case as most of the staff are leaving and find one stern macho looking guy behind the counter. I guess puppy dog is out. Luckily he speaks English so I go for rapport and enrolment and within a minute he feels he is the key to making this whole amazing race work. He buys it and goes to find a supervisor to OK the deal! He comes back with an airway bill and tells me they’ll do it this once if I have a FedEx account number. Yes I do. I fill in the paperwork aware that my flight is now boarding two terminals away. Paperwork done I shake hands and run back to Manwell who was waiting with a big smile. ‘Terminal 2 Rapido!’ I shout ‘No Problemo!’ he shouts back. Damn we’re getting good, and he races out of the cargo terminal Schumacher style. I think he’s really starting to enjoy this. Five minutes later we pull up at departures and before I know it I’ve said ‘arigato gozhiamas!’ (thank you in Japanese) he looks puzzled until he see’s the tip, then we shake hands, exchange thumbs up and I race inside. I dash through the terminal and start taking off my belt to get ready for security unaware at the time that I must have looked like a potential streaker but hey, time was everything here. I jumped the line with cheesy grin and certainty in tow (no time for fine tuning here) and I’m convinced some were the same people from the bank. I sprint to my gate to just make final call while holding up my pants with one hand and my carry on in the other, dripping with sweat. All in all it had been a wild hour and a half but with all outcomes accomplished I sat back on the plane and smiled. It was going to be a BIG glass of wine when I landed, not to mention a toast or two to my awesome cabby.

To Doris - Sweetheart, all I can say is thank you for giving me the opportunity to do this, I haven’t had this much fun since the last Trainer stretch where they fed us to the sharks in Kona and the important thing is that you can have certainty about getting your things tomorrow. I also know you’d do it for me in a heartbeat so please just relax and allow us to love you. You’re body is amazing, it knows exactly and precisely what to do and is healing fast. All you need to do now is relax and feel the love that is coming from all over the world to you in this moment. I love you sis, keep smiling and I’ll see you soon.’

This is Peter's current project http://spaceenergy.com/s/Directors.htm

Should I meditate or vacuum the carpets?

2011-10-03T10:36:00.000+01:00

I have had a crazy Summer with three teenagers/youmg adults starting new schools, University, new job and was reminded of an article I wrote a couple of years ago. I have copied it below for your amusement.

Should I meditate or vaccum the carpets?

I have been an evangelist for personal development for three decades. Yep, for thirty years I have read virtually nothing but self help, personal development, psychology and spiritual development. I have spent over £100,000 on going to seminars all over the world – Europe, USA and even the Gold Coast. I have studied under every Guru under the sun, who seemed worth listening to, and even spent some time at a spiritual retreat and experienced shaktipat.

If the definition of an expert is that they have 10,000 hours experience under their belts then I must qualify. Thirty years of training in the area of human potential and, in the last ten years, 10,000 people have trusted me to share some of that knowledge through my seminars, web casts, products, newsletters and blogs.

Impressed? Whether you are or you aren’t there is another side to this story and it doesn’t sound as pretty or impressive or exciting. And on some level, despite what I know, I am still really confused.

Running in parallel to my ‘WOW’ career I have also been a single Mother of three daughters who are now aged twenty, eighteen and fifteen. Nothing is more important to me than my girl’s happiness. And, I also think this is where I, and thousands of women that I’ve spoken to, come adrift. This is where confusion, guilt and doubt creep in. Nowhere in the world of personal development have I seen this issue addressed properly.

What do I mean by this? Well, in the world of success psychology, there is an agreed formula. How you define success is unique to you but the supposed process to fulfilment is not unique it is a formula that goes something like this:

Every day I commit to

• Meditate for at least 20 minutes

• Exercise for 45 minutes

• Eat 80% health giving food

• Drink two litres of water

• Take daily green drinks and vitamins

• Visualise, re-bound, breathe

• Connect daily with Mastermind, Coach or Mentor

• Connect with nature

• Read and learn for 20 minutes minimum

• Set, yearly, monthly, weekly goals and just do it!

• Ensure that all of the above serves my mission and values

Does this formula work? No doubt about it. If you follow this plan and deal with your fears, you cannot fail. You can literally have anything you want, the life of your dreams, all the money and success that you want, the relationship that your heart desires, health, happiness and connection to something beyond yourself. The examples of this working are everywhere. Go to a book store and see how many people there are who want to share their story of success with you. See how many people there are who made millions with this method – particularly the visualisation, meditation, dream book, vision book part. And I know that it works for me too. I have lived it all and applied it all and have the stories to tell that prove it.

BUT, not many people will tell you what I am about to tell you next. I have never, in fact, seen or heard anybody in the world of personal development talking about this because most don’t really get it. Some of them are men and (sorry guys) your Biology just doesn’t work the same way as ours. Some are single women; some are women without children and some with children and a supportive husband. But where is the Guru that says you can ‘have all the rewards and success you want and bring up three teenagers at the same time – on your own.’

I can honestly say that there have been too many desperate days when I have wept with frustration. Younger children can be looked after by somebody else as their needs are relatively simple. But your teenagers need YOU and you cannot say ‘sorry darling, I really haven’t got time for piano lessons, College research and enrolment, University research and enrolment and then the moving in and out of student accommodation. I don’t have time for GCSE’s and A levels or to help you write a CV and look for a job. I don’t have time to help you pass your driving test and then research a car and the insurance and then go look for a car. There isn’t time for coaching and help with relationships and finances and I really really don’t have time for the weekly emotional (hormonal) car crash because I need to maintain a peak state darling and go meditate.’

And multiply all of the above unspoken, unpaid work of the heart by three but don’t let it interfere with your formula Tracey or your day job, whoever you are and wherever you are out there reading this. I feel tears of empathy for you.

This week I read about a man (single parent) who gets up at 6 am to vacuum the carpets before he takes his daughter to school and it made me wonder if the key is to keep it simple. But then, I know too much to go back and so I hope that tomorrow is calm enough that I can get up at 6am and meditate in the silent day break and that will make all the difference to my day and anything that it throws at me that isn’t in the formula.

Personal power

2011-08-18T09:10:00.002+01:00

It has been a long, hot and busy Summer over here. Summer holidays are always a challenge for working parents and now that mine are older (and left school) I have to tell you it gets worse! This Summer I have organised a new school for my youngest to do A levels, helped my middle daughter with her Uni application and helped the oldest through redundancy! Phew

I have also been integrating my business into a larger, international people performance consultancy http://www.transformpeople.com/ and have been reminding myself of the male perspective on gender differences. Here is one of my lessons: One day I was talking to our Chairman, Ronnie Stronge, about male/female differences in networking and that women are generally excluded from business networking because it happens on the golf course. He asked me how 'we' network and I said 'well, we meet for coffee or lunch and chat' To which he replied 'woud I be welcome there?' hmmm...something to think about there.

I know I am making massive generalisations but try to see beyond that to the real point ....Gender IQ requires learning and flexing on both sides and we all need to manage to gender differences to get the most out of our talent. It is a key management competency not a 'nice to have' and there are many men who have had to learn how to talk 'football' including Antony Jenkins, CEO Barclaycard.

My biggest lesson in integration has been how to retain my personal power in a predominantly male team where there is a way of doing things that is different to mine. I underestimated my own personal need to conform, to belong, to be part of the team. How do we do this without losing our personal power?

Almost all of the coaching I am doing at the moment is on personal power and we know that it is possible to lose it through work, relationships, kids but the key is to know how we begin to lose it and interrupt the pattern. A gifted coach will be able to work with you where you are at and identify your pattern and work with you from that place.

For instance, which of the following resonates with you ?

You are mostly in your head, telling yourself stories about why something cant be done
You have a sick feeling in your stomach and a feeling that the fear is related to a past event
You don't feel able to set clear boundaries
You feel confused and conflicted about what you are being asked to do

If any of these speak to you, get yourself an intuitive coach, somebody who can read what's not being said.

Personal power is critical to every area of your life. It is the life force that runs through your veins. Make a commitment today, to begin or continue the life long work of nurturing your own personal power

With passion!
Tracey

Do it like a woman

2011-07-06T13:49:00.001+01:00

You have probably heard people saying that if Lehman Brothers had been Lehman Sisters .....well, you know the rest.

Here is a woman who says it might be true and is doing it herself to prove the point. Renee Haugerud runs a billion dollar hedge fund that she started from scratch. Watch the video to find out how she overcame being excluded from the boys club and now teaches how to 'trade like a woman'
http://tinyurl.com/6dporjv

Whilst we are talking about 'doing it like a woman' I am so proud of my eldest daughter for doing something similar in teaching a large Telecoms company how to move beyond unconscious bias. A year ago she went for her first interview and was told that she wouldn't fit in because the sales guys were big and macho and they didn't have any other girls. They didn't think she would make it.

She responded like this... 'with respect, I wouldn't sell like a guy but I do believe that I could sell and I would do it in a different way' For having the courage to say this they gave her a 'chance' on a salary just above minimum wage.

My petite, feminine, gentle daughter who was the youngest in the team last year (19) and still the only white female in the entire business (selling business to business telecoms solutions) has just been given top sales award in the company.

You GO Jess! We're proud

Anne Minto OBE

2011-06-15T10:02:00.001+01:00

Recently, I was honoured and excited to be invited to the internal launch of Centrica’s women’s network. Honoured because I was the only external person invited and excited because I wanted to hear Anne Minto, Group Director of Human Resources, speak.

I am always surprised by my own perceptions of successful people. I am sure we are similar and I bet your inner dialogue is like mine and goes something like this ‘they must be different to me, more intelligent, more serious, more committed’ and then, of course, when we listen we discover that that they are just like us and the inspiration is in that lesson. Perhaps, the only difference I have heard and seen 100’s of times is that they are willing to work hard and learn from, not shrink back from mistakes.

Anne has been Group Director of Human Resources at Centrica since 2002 and before that she worked as Director of Human Resources of Smiths Group. After qualifying as a lawyer, she worked for over 13 years with Shell including a two year secondment as Director of Aberdeen Enterprise and was the first woman in Shell to be ‘allowed’ to stay on an off-shore platform in 1980. She was awarded an OBE for services to the engineering industry in 2000.

Anne’s talk was inspiring for many reasons, not least of which was her generous willingness to share some of the lessons she had learned as a woman at the commercial edge of business in a male dominated industry. Anne’s career spanned the struggle for equal pay legislation and, perhaps subsequently, was one of the first GHRD’s in a FTSE 100 to introduce equal pay audits at Centrica.

The more interesting lessons, for me, come when a person is willing to share on a personal level. I don’t say this lightly as I understand how difficult it can be to share honestly and from the heart in business. Anne’s advice to women at Centrica was rooted around a belief that ‘quota’s will come’ unless we see some dramatic improvements in the number of women on boards and the need to get more women into general management leadership roles which would give greater opportunities for women to become CEOs of a company. She advised not to ‘forget who you are as a person’ and to ‘keep your femininity and use it to your advantage’ She also said be realistic about what you can do – no one can be super woman – make sure you have the support you need around you at home to be able to fulfill the demands of both family and job otherwise you are simply exhausted all of the time.

My own belief is that unless more of us can start having these kinds of honest discussions….yes.. ‘quota’s will come’

Mindset and Manifesting tools: Number 4

2011-06-04T11:31:00.000+01:00

I hope you have been enjoying this glorious weather that we have been having. How have you built flexibility into your daily routine so that you can take full advantage of the long Summer evenings?

Last night at sunset and after dinner, work, washing, cooking I decided to go for a run on our beautiful North Downs at a special place close to heart where I get to breathe deeply, stretch my arms up to the sun or the moon and grin from ear to ear. How wonderful to be able to do this at 10pm at night.

Last night was even more special than usual as my 16 year old daughter came with me and while I ran she sat on a blanket with the dog and her Maths GCSE revision. At the end of my run we all sat on the blanket watching to sun go down listening to Chopin with a shared i-pod. We were alone in a vast area of open space and it was an experience that is what I call 'soul food'

And ...it got even better ...as it got dark we walked back to the car and in the car park was a wedding party with bottles of champagne, highland kilts, a full wedding gown and lots of high heels. They were laughing and being merry whilst letting off beautiful Chinese Lanterns into the night sky.

Mindset and manifesting tool number 4 is ..have a flexible approach to all of life

How have you built flexibility into your schedule so that you feel fully alive?

Dealing with trauma

2011-05-15T13:26:00.000+01:00

This is a bit off-side from my normal blogs and ramblings about effectiveness and manifesting results. The reason that I have gone off piste today is because so much of what I am teaching and coaching at the moment is helping people come to terms with past trauma.

It seems to me that this is a time of great change and it is bringing up all sorts of 'stuff' from the past and even forcing us to deal with untruth in the present. If you can relate to what I am saying then please do watch this short video which is a strategy for dealing with past trauma. And if you know somebody who is suffering please share this with them.

Post script ...I have had an amazing weekend meeting the wonderful Dr Karambu I am very excited about her work in Nairobi and I want to help her. You can help her too and together we can do more than we can do alone. You can read about her here

If you are interested in forming a group of women leaders supporting women and children in Africa please email me tracey@eve-olution.net

We're sorry

2011-05-08T23:33:00.000+01:00

We're sorry. It seems we had some technical issues last week. Thanks to all those emailed to let us know...without your email alerts we might never have known!

If you clicked on the link for the free report on Authentic Leadership (the competencies women need to succeed) you will have got an error message.

If you still want the report please email info@eve-olution.net and just write 'free report' in the subject line and we'll wing it right back to you.

The report is based on data collected over 10 years from women who are at the top of their game professionally. We measured their skills on a special leadership competency tool and then collated the results. It is all now documented in a professional 10 page report that's free to you and all you need to do is say 'yes please'

info@eve-olution.net

Have a fabby week!

Mindset and manifesting tools. Number 3

2011-05-05T17:24:00.000+01:00

Most of us feel like this some of the time, if not most of the time with the dual demands of an ever increasing work load and more home responsibilities such as young children, teenagers or ageing parents.

In fact women still spend three times longer doing house work than their partners and then you can add childcare on top and your own grooming needs.

I often wonder about small things ...such as ...how different my life would be if I didn't have to worry about my nails, make-up and blow drying my hair. Yep, I could just tell myself that it doesn't matter and not bother but that's not what M&M tool number 3 is all about. It's not about keeping your head down and just getting the job done because that wont get you the promotion and it wont get you noticed.

And guess what happens if you aren't noticed? You stay where you are and you stagnate. Worse people think you are un-ambitious.

This Forbes article suggests that It's women's fault that women don't get promoted more or paid equally. I don't go so far as to say that it is our fault but I will say that we don't know what we don't know. Gender IQ is about being savvy about gender differences that impact your career. For instance do you know that the reason men get promoted more often, generally, is because they work hard at establishing a relationship with the boss more often than we do? In fact you may very well notice the carpet tiles being worn out at appraisal time by your male colleagues!

Tool number 3 then is - work hard on your visibility. What does that mean? It means work to create your personal brand by caring about your appearance and telling everybody how great you are. (is it a coincidence that most of our C suite women are American?) Blow your own horn!

When I tell women these things they often look horrified. But, it is part of your responsibility to know what works. Whether it’s fair or not is irrelevant.

Something else that women tell me is that they are called aggressive if they 'ask' more often and this can be tricky. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

If you want to know how to navigate some of these issues and work towards creating or enhancing your personal brand I suggest you learn from the best (a core NLP skill) or at the very least, find somebody who has already achieved the things you want to achieve and ask them to coach or mentor you.

If you want to kick-start this process you can use our benchmarking services. For the past ten years we have been doing extensive research on your behalf and have collated validated data taken from 100's of corporate executive women. The result is a fantastic tool that allows you to measure yourself against a set of competencies that have worked for many women who have already done what you want to do.

Have you ever wondered what competencies senior corporate women have and how your compare? If you would like a copy of our FREE 10 page report you can fill out this form Free report and we will make sure you get one by return. Alternatively, if you would like more details on the tool for your personal use please email me tracey@eve-olution.net

'Men are allowed to have passion and commitment for their work ... a woman is allowed that feeling for a man, but not her work' Barbara Streisand

What do you think?

Mindset and Manifesting tools. Number 2

2011-04-17T21:30:00.001+01:00

I hope you had a wonderful weekend in the sunshine and are raring to go this week. If not, what's stopping you? Where are you stuck? Do you know what you want from life and how to get it?

Life can sometimes require that we reflect and maybe this is a reflective or quiet time for too. If so, save these M&M (Mindset and Manifesting) tools for later and be gentle with yourself.

On the other hand if you are raring to go and have fully embraced the concept of CANI from tool number 1 then you will know already that fear can hold us back. That little four letter word is all pervasive and I see it everywhere in behaviour that isn't fully present and in the moment. How often do you witness a person fully embracing life? I guarantee it is a rare sight to see somebody fully in the flow and doing whatever life presents without filtering.

What happens when we filter? We make up stories about why we shouldn't do something or we justify why something wont work. We intellectualise so that we can be 'right' or we follow logic only, and rarely trust intuition. In other words we block off the power that is flow.

The second manifesting tool then is .....learn how to deal with fear.

A while ago I said I had done a radio interview on fear and I now have that hour long, content rich radio interview. Below is a link to a file that you can download as an MP3 ...listen on your i pod as many times as you can until you fully grasp the concepts and then ....go and practise! Knowledge is no good without action.

Enjoy!

Radio interview on FEAR

Mindset and manifesting tools. Number 1

2011-03-29T22:21:00.000+01:00

In my last blog post I said I was going to start a new coaching series to share with you how to use the tools of success. I am not talking about skills such as finance or management, though these are important too. No, I am talking about the tools that give you persistence and faith because without persistence and faith you can have all the skills in the world but they wont get you very far.

Think about what I just said for a minute. All of us enter our careers with a certain set of skills. We either enter a graduate career or we forge our entrepreneurial skills early in life. Lets focus on the corporate world as this is where most of you are. So you have climbed the greasy pole fairly swiftly and you are now in your early 30's. You are what they call a high flyer, a fast track employee, a high potential. You left University with good grades and the graduate programme taught you enough skills to move forward. Over the next few years you took every stretch opportunity you could find and maybe you even re-located to show flexibility. Now comes the hard bit.....you got to a fairly senior level with your intelligence and your skills but guess what ...to go further you need to re-learn your swing!

Tiger Woods: after winning numerous championships, broke down everything he was doing and totally reinvented and re-learned his golf swing. Why? He thought it could be improved....AFTER he was already arguably the greatest golfer in the world!

And this is the first Mindest and Manifesting tool ....a commitment to CANI or constant and never ending improvement. All successful people that I have ever known are voracious readers of books, they spend thousands on their own personal development and find coaches and mentors that can consistently take them to higher levels of achievement. Why? Because learning and growing is exciting and, more importantly, because the skills that got you to where you are today wont take you any further. It is who you are that matters not what you know.

Continuing to grow after you have become successful requires humility. It requires that you stay open to learning and that you can ask for help from people who know more than you.

Tiger Woods understands, like all top tier athletes, that coaching not only accelerates his successful performance but also helps him meet and exceed his professional targets. His coaches include one for his swing, another one for fitness, and he says that he relies on his caddy’s coaching for guidance on the course. More and more business and organizational leaders are beginning to follow his lead.

Tiger Woods now probably also understands that what we do in our private lives will impact our success too. More about that next week!

When was the last time that you asked for a mentor or a coach? When was the last time you sought out the advice of somebody who has already done the thing you want to do next in your career or personal life?

Remember this ...who you are speaks so loudly I cant hear what you're saying.

Until the next time ...live with passion!
Tracey

When life throws a curve ball

2011-03-15T16:06:00.006Z

Photographs from our recent F Word event

It feels like it has been a long time since I updated you and that's because so much has changed and so much has been happening. All very exciting stuff and I haven't been this energised for many years about life and work. I have taken a breath today and am working in my garden which always inspires me. I can hear bird song all around and this is the first time in many months that I have been able to sit outside and work. I can't be inspired and not write so here goes ....my thoughts today are about difficult times and how to navigate them. What to do and what to focus on. I did a radio interview on this recently and will send the link when I get it but for now here are my written ramblings.

I always ask this question in my seminars and coaching ...'what will you do when you hit the wall?' Not if you hit the wall but when, because, lets not kid ourselves, it will happen to us all at some stage or another.
It has happened to me a few times in life, both professionally and personally and last year was a great opportunity for me to learn how to walk my talk once again.

Through circumstances beyond my control my business life presented one challenge after another consistently and relentlessly. During 2009 and 2010 I had a quick and steep learning curve about technology in order to bring my web project to life but in the process I went through 3 software suppliers, ended up in litigation with one of them, had a plethora of issues with funding and ultimately sold my house to complete the project.
During this time I had two choices:

1. Give up and do 'poor me'

2. Walk my talk and find a way over the wall, under the wall or round the wall

I chose the latter.

What I am about to share is my personal philosophy about life. It's not for everyone but I have had the opportunity to prove, over and over again that, if we go beyond our fears there are bigger and better things ahead. In other words, all of our dreams are at the other side of our fears.

So, life has thrown you a curve ball. Here's what happens ...you panic. You start operating from the reptilian part of your brain and you stop operating according to your higher self (wisdom) How often have you seen this happen to people during the recession? Crisis management, command and control, lack of vision, no listening and no long term planning. In other words ...no leadership, either personally or professionally.

And most people get stuck there.

I nearly got stuck there myself in 2010 but I reminded myself over and over this was an opportunity to prove that if you use the principles that I teach there is an ending that is beyond your wildest dreams and the bottom line is faith. In other words the basis of persistence is the power of will. Most people (under extreme pressure) will throw their dreams out of the window but faith and persistence create a higher vibration. Some people call this prayer and others call it magic and others call it iron will. Call it what you will but don’t underestimate the power of your steadfast intention.

There is too much to tell here for one blog so I am going to start a new coaching series. I am going to tell you exactly how to practice the persistence and faith necessary to overcome any obstacle.

I feel qualified (once again ;-) to teach you this as I have just gone from ground zero to the manifestation of an ideal working environment that is perfect for my needs. I am working with a group of amazingly talented individuals who have the same values as mine and are committed to helping people and organisations. I have found the infrastructure (International) to support my baby web project so that she can grow into the powerful force that she needs to be ...oh and ...there is a new ideal man in my life too.

Was it worth selling my house for and handling all the cr**p for? Yep, the rewards are potentially far greater than leaving a chunk of money stuck in a dormant housing market..and if I hadn’t done that I wouldn’t be sitting where I am now, which is in the perfect place to create my future. Did I doubt an outstanding outcome from my troubles in 2010? Nope, not for one minute …even though at times I questioned myself, I consistently used the tools that I teach and believe in.

I can’t quite spill the beans about how I am working or who I am working with but I will in the next installment...watch this space.
…so exciting!

I can tell you this though ....I couldn’t have thought up this solution. I 'heard' it by being present enough to know what was right in front of me. Stress can block us for our higher power and we miss all the routes to freedom that appear on our path.

Hence the F Word….and the MOJO revolution!

Finally, for those of you who missed the F Word, we will be publishing another date in the near future. Here is a picture of my 15 year old daughter and me after she did her board break.

Until the next time ...live with passion!

What is fear?

2011-02-08T20:55:00.000Z

Isn't this a beautiful room? It is right in the centre of Kensington, 5 minutes from Kensington High Street tube and I am so excited because this is where we are holding the next F Word event - F stands for fear and we intend to kick fear's butt! Yep, we're fed up with doom and gloom so we're creating a MOJO revolution!

So today's blog is about fear. Obviously fear has been on my mind with this event coming up and so I wanted to share some thoughts on what fear is and how it manifests.

Firstly, before you begin any great plan ..be that a promotion or starting your own business, you must be prepared to receive it. That doesn't sound too hard does it? However, you have to overcome the triple forces of indecision, doubt and fear before you are ready to receive or you will self sabotage. These are unconscious motives but don't underestimate the power that they can have over you if you don't take control.

Indecision is where it begins. Where there is indecision or procrastination there often follows doubt. Once indecision and doubt take hold they produce fear. This process can take a long time which is why they are so dangerous...you hardly know its happening.

Consider this. You know that you need to leave your job because it is a toxic environment. But you say to yourself 'oh, it's not too bad, my boss only bawls me out on 3 days out of 5 and I am pretty well paid' (justification based on indecision.) This process of self doubt or not trusting your gut leads to doubt about your abilities 'maybe s/he is right, maybe I am useless and wouldn't get another job anyway'

Soon you have turned indecision and doubt into such a self induced fear that you become paralysed. Maybe if you had walked out at the beginning instead of procrastinating it might not have become this bad but now we are stuck with fear and we must know how to deal with it or stay in toxic relationships of all kinds for ever!

I feel passionate about this because I see hundreds of people suffering from a lack of self belief and I know that you can deal with it because I have dealt with it many times in my own life. It's not easy but it can be done and unless it is 'done' we stay in the downward spiral instead of standing straight back up and moving on to something better.

There are six basic fears

Fear of poverty
Fear of criticism
Fear of illness
Fear of the loss of love
Fear of old age
Fear of death

And guess what ....thoughts become things. If you are constantly thinking about losing your love ...what do you think is going to happen? Yep, it will become a self fulfilling prophecy and they will get right up and leave. If you are constantly thinking about being poor then you can never be rich because the two roads lead in opposite directions. Ask yourself, honestly, which of the above are you scared of?

If you answered 'none' then great.

But, if you answered yes to any of these please join us on February 18th. We have been generously blessed with the room above that holds 50 people and so I am able to extend an offer for you to join us at the silly price of £150

Is £150 too much money for you to invest to learn about manging that old devil called fear? Email me if you want to pay in two parts or you want a formal flyer to get it signed off at work tracey@eve-olution.net

You can find more information here http://www.tracey-carr.co.uk/TheFWord/index2

With passion, Tracey
p.s. we have a great group of people coming ...women and men of all ages and we are planning on having a lot of fun.
p.p.s we are also looking for a media partner for our MOJO campaign ...get in early for the exciting competitions we are planning
p.p.p.s teenagers can come for FREE

2011-01-18T10:59:00.000Z

So here we are ...three weeks into 2011 and the new decade and I haven't caught my breath.

There has been more demand from you this year and that is a very GOOD THING. The world is faster and more competitive and so we need to be personally responsible for our own success. There is no such thing as a safe job any more and no such thing as a safe harbour. In other words ...the days of coasting are gone.

I have had lots of questions re my new Elite coaching programme so here is some feedback.

I am running two parallel programmes this year. One for business owners and kitchen table entrepreneurs, and the other for corporate women.

I have separated them this year because I really want to get specific on things that are important to you.

For instance, have you thought about how you package yourself, and your offerings if you own your own business? How you package and present yourself and your products will determine the fees you can charge.

If you're working in the corporate world, have you thought about your branding? Is the feminine unconsciously perceived negatively in your organisation and, if so, what are you doing about your personal brand? By not doing anything you re also choosing your brand. Think about that.

Have you decided how much money you want to make this year? How are you going to get there? It isn't voo doo or magic and it isn't rocket science...there are formulas. I know because I have built a multiple six figure business, scaled it back to being a life-style business when my family needed me and now I am about to launch again - bigger and bolder. This elastic band needs the stretch! I will follow the same formula that worked before and has worked for thousands of others.

This picture is on my dream board. I took the picture on our last holiday to Corfu. My dream is to have a house on a hill in Corfu. What's your dream and how are you making that happen?

Successful people always invest in a life time of learning. How can you get anywhere without a map and better to buy the map from somebody who knows the territory.

The good news is I am not telling you to change who you are or what you do. When I work with clients one-to-one on leveraging their skills, it's typically finding these points of LEVERAGE that can be capitalized on, and often it's just an issue of repackaging what you offer and how you offer it. (and yes that means in a corporate career too)

I am super excited this year as I am launching a new business myself and it will either succeed or fail because that's the name of the game. But the reason I'm excited is because I have had to go right back to basics in developing the plan, creating the vision, holding myself accountable and knocking on every door until my arm drops off.

I would love to take you through this process with me whilst it is fresh in my mind. Begin with the end in mind ....what does your future look like and how are you going to get there? Can I help?

For more details of my Elite one-to-one coaching programme please email tracey@eve-olution.net and I will be happy to share how I am going to take you through a step-by-step format designed to help you make FAST CHANGES in your business or career

And if that's not for you we have a special one day event packed full of fun and new discoveries designed to help us all get back our MOJO ...I was thinking about it on my run last week

Thoughts from my run (excuse the wild hair)

You can book here Yes please ...getting back my MOJO

Love and success,

Tracey

PS -- Did you see the BONUS PACK? There is a two tickets for the price of one offer if you book before midnight on January 31st

Parenting teenagers

2011-01-04T12:30:00.000Z

As we race into the new year, one of the things that strikes me is this ....if your children are unhappy or your family life is dysfunctional you will not reach your potential this year or even your goals.

One of the hardest times for parents is the turbulent teenage years. It is critical that you are aligned as a family, in other words, if you teenagers are causing the family to have a metaphorical car crash once a week - how can you concentrate on your future dreams and aspirations? Survival then becomes the order of the day and excitement and happiness can be lost for many years without constant effort on your part (yep, sorry it is all down to you)

For all of these reasons I have created a new free resource called 'Parenting Teenagers' and you can join the group here for daily tips and inspiration and support. You can also post questions or comments or tips.

If this isn't for you then please pass this onto somebody else as it is a much needed FREE resource.

I believe I have the experience to help parents get the most out of this period. I have been a single parent for 10 years and have three teenage daughters who are also commenting in the group with their perspective. During this time I have also been running a business and I personally believe that raising teenagers is one of the most challenging and demanding times of our lives.

Perhaps we should ignore the moods and hope they go away? It's a strategy if you haven't got time for quality parenting but my only philosophy is always to begin with the end in mind.

What does your relationship with your son or daughter look like in 10 years time and how are you going to get there?

Happy New Year and happy parenting
Tracey

p.s. here is today's tip from the group:
Tip: Teenagers have hormones which, sometimes, make them sad or unpredictable or even angry and frustrated and it can seem like they have lost their sense of reason and proportion. Self esteem can be low. This is YOUR chance to STEP UP and give great support, coaching, advice ..seek first to understand and then to be understood. Align and then re-direct. Do something pro-active and positive. Get them to think about their dreams and create goal maps. Re-connect them to possibility. GO!

parenting teenagers

Maybe next year

2010-12-31T11:56:00.000Z

Maybe next year...

House prices will start booming

Your skills and expertise will be acknowledged and rewarded

Your boss will give you the go ahead for that project (and agree to take the rap if things don't work out)

Your kids, mother, partner will be happy and doing well and you wont feel guilty

People will stop bitching and playing politics

There will be no more snow and all the tubes and trains will run on time

There won't be any computer crashes/upgrades/down-time

Your friend will return that book

Then...

You can get a new job, you can launch your project, you can start your business.

Of course, all of these things won't happen. But, why wait for what you want?

While others were hiding last year, new products were launched, new jobs were created and brand new companies were formed. While they were waiting, people got promoted, organisations grew, and contracts were signed. While they were like a Deer in the headlights, money was being made, star employees were noticed and women took their place at the table.

Most of all, magic happened.

It's okay, though, because it's all going to happen again in 2011. It's not too late, just later than it was

Happy New Year!
(oh, yes, England brought home the Ashes!)

Get out of your own way in 2011

2010-12-15T10:34:00.000Z

This is probably my last blog before Xmas and so I am thinking about contribution and giving. In attempting to set a good tone for my three daughters regarding their individual responsibility to see the holiday season as a time of giving and not just receiving, we will again volunteer our time to help the needy. On the 23rd December we will be making our annual pilgrimage to East London where, early on that morning, we will join 200 other volunteers. Together we will make approximately 500 hampers and then we will get in our cars and personally deliver them to families who can't afford to buy Xmas lunch. My children have benefited enormously through the experience of volunteering. They have pushed through fear (knocking on a strangers door) and then experienced the love and appreciation that comes back (contribution) You can see more about the scheme here Basket Brigade

Do you think it would be good to learn about how to push through fear and what it feels like to really contribute beyond yourself at a young age? Of course, you say, but how many of us are actually doing it?

2010 has been a tough year for me in many ways but does that mean that 2011 has to be same? Does a bad year mean that I have to withdraw inside myself and engage in flight or fight behaviour from the reptilian part of my brain? Does a bad year mean that I haven't got time for Basket Brigade this year? Does a bad year mean that I have to set more realistic goals in 2011 and manage my expectations downward?

Here's what I think: It is time to set even bigger goals and expectations! It is time to step up and make a difference on a large scale. It is time for me to apply everything I know and everything I have learnt from all the amazing teachers and mentors that I have had. Time to apply all the knowledge from the thousands of courses and books I have consumed over the past 30 years.

It is time for growth. Time to get out of my comfort zone and lead from my own truth and not somebody else’s. The definition of a leader is simply that you walk ahead. It doesn’t mean that you walk one behind ...it means, literally, get out in front and make your own decisions about what's best for your life and your business or career.

Sadly, I know that 99% of you won’t do this. I know that you will get in your own way. Not because you are ignorant and not because you can’t be bothered but for two reasons.

1. You don’t have a peer group that will hold you up to higher standards

2. You don’t know the secret tools and techniques that all successful people use (both practical and magical) to get results

So will 2011 be the same old drudge? The same old frustrating politics? The same old negativity and cynicism? The same old lack?
Or would you rather rise above it all and take yourself to the next level in your life? More fulfillment. More passion and more money?

Each year I take on 15 coaching clients. This year I am upping my game and looking for an extraordinary peer group of coaching clients. This isn’t for the faint hearted. I will be expecting you to play at the same level that I am going to commit to and my goals are extraordinary. I am not interested in having a mediocre year next year - double dip or not. And so it makes sense not to create a mediocre coaching peer group.

My coaching peer group will meet up bi-monthly with regular teleconferences. I am going to give you all of my tools and techniques as I do them. I am going to share all my struggles and how I deal with the dark side too. (and yes, we are going to deal with the truth- we all have a dark side) As extra bonuses you will get to attend all of my live events and we will be in contact regularly via email, video blogs, Skype.

Please let me know if you are interested in joining this elite group. Like I said, it is not for the faint hearted and neither will it be cheap (how much do you usually value yourself and invest in you?) You will only get something out of this if you are willing to make 2011 your best year yet and that means being an A Player and making extraordinary commitments to which we will hold you accountable.

If you would like to apply, please email me at tracey@eve-olution.net and tell me why it should be you.

I am looking to create something powerful, magical and extraordinary in 2011 and beyond. Are you?

Merry Xmas (or holidays) and blessings to all of you and yours at this wonderful time of year

Tracey
p.s. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result

TED's goal re: gender parity

2010-12-07T10:03:00.003Z

There is much blogging and news on the upcoming TED women's conference. I just read this post on my early morning surf.

There is real energy and passion in this statement calling TED on it's goals re gender parity.

This is how gender parity should be handled in my book. Actively and with no excuses and zero tolerance.

We all have a part to play. What are you doing?

I have some ideas about we (you and me) can collectively do more to balance the world

A passionate pledge from TED

A gift for you

2010-11-29T17:36:00.001Z

I am just back from the round table event for Lord Davies ....me and a few people who have been sitting around tables for the past 10 years!

One of the things that is really puzzling me is this ....despite there being pressure on us from Europe re quotas and despite there being only 3.8 percent women directors in the FTSE 250 ....diversity professionals will not engage on the http://www.genderiq.tv/ project

I have been told

It wont work for senior women
It wont engage the men
It's not professional enough
We don't want to focus on gender

What do you think? Here is s a link to one of the modules. Check out the resources tab as well as the Q&A function and the chapter functionality in the power point.
Gender IQ in negotiating

Please do let me have your opinion as it will really help me to understand how useful this tool might be and what our strategy might be re raising awareness if big organisations dont want to engage.

With passion, as always

How do you keep your job?

2010-11-10T21:25:00.000Z

Breaking news ….I just managed to persuade another phenomenal woman to come and speak on the 25th November at the F Word event …
She calls herself an ordinary girl from Scotland and yet she works with the Royal Family and has her own product range in Tesco’s.

More about Denise later! First, I just got this question in one of my coaching Mastermind groups:

‘At a time of financial challenge in the workplace and the looming cutbacks, does anybody have any tips on 'differentiating' themselves more positively in the workplace?’

How do you keep your job? How do you stay ahead of the game?

How do you start your own business and make six figures in the first year following redundancy?

How do you get to the point where you feel like shouting …..

‘Redundancy, Geronimo, bring it on!’

I promised you that we will help you manage and control any kind of fear, inner saboteur or phobia if you join us for this amazing day

More details here

But the truth is ….it’s better than that! You will leave with more power, charisma, high energy …

...and if you want to make sure that you keep your job, get a promotion, start or grow a business, then these are the personal qualities you need in bucket loads.

Don’t kid yourself that having ‘good skills’ is enough because it never has been and now it is even more important that you take control of the fear that might be holding you back.

And you can!

Somebody who did take control of her destiny and literally created life exactly the way she wanted it, despite some horrendous set-backs, is Denise McAdam (hairdresser to the Royal Family)

I have known Denise for many years and she is one of the most inspirational women I know and she is coming on the 25th …

…to talk about… how she dealt with her own fear to get to where she is today. Denise was recently awarded the Royal Victoria Medal.

You can read more about Denise here

You will absolutely love hearing Denise talk about her journey. What she has to say is priceless.

An NLP skill I always press home is ‘learn from the best’ Don’t try to learn quietly or by trial and error…it will take decades!

Find somebody who has already done what you want to do and go and learn from them. (on the 25th you get 4 of them in the same room!)

So, if you have been sitting on the fence regarding making a decision. Now is the time.

Now you are getting 4 world class speakers and experts in the same room, on the same day to share all of their knowledge and wisdom with you.

You will see a live phobia cure. You will discover what it takes to run a business or hold down a successful career.

You will practise practical NLP tools for managing fear of public speaking or board-room presentations and you get to have lunch in a Michelin starred restaurant

.....with other people just like you from every stage in their career, both corporate and entrepreneurial

(and my 18 year old daughter is coming too with her friend (who is scared of spiders!)

What’s holding you back? Remember that procrastination is a form of fear (fear of making the wrong decision) Read more here

Book here now Book here now

Email me tracey@eve-olution.net if you need a formal flyer for sign off at work. Email me if you would like to take us up on the two tickets for the price of one offer.

Hurry, we have very limited space for our first event and I only have 5 places left. Book here now

See you on the 25th!

With passion

Tracey

p.s.. here is that video again from my FEARLESS 15 year old who made this about me (yes, it made me cry!) Fearless parenting = fearless kids

From recent events:
"Wow! what a difference a week makes...

I fair 'skipped' into the office on Monday morning - I think they're wondering who

I am, and what have I done with Liz?!" Liz Scarboro, Herbert Smith

'Hi Tracey, wow what fantastic talent you have! You are the best trainer I’ve seen and you give SO much. Thank you forever for inviting me.' Danielle Henderson, TV Presenter, Therapist Harley Street

Deadline midnight tonight ...Happy Guy Fawkes

2010-11-05T09:34:00.000Z

This is a quick reminder that the deadline is midnight tonight for getting your free bonuses. Let me remind you what they are

A live recording of one of my 2 day seminars (thoughts about leadership, life, success and even Botox from the UK’s most influential women)

A 10 page report on the competencies that senior level women have) based on real data collected from our leadership programmes

Here are the full details again

I have had a few questions re the day and one of the critical ones is this: Some of you need to get it signed off by your boss and ‘do we have a formal brief?’ Yes and it is called ‘Managing dynamic teams in a fear fuelled economy’ Please email tracey@eve-olution.net for your copy.

Some of you are paying for yourselves. GREAT! Here’s what we have decided to do to help you. If you pay by Pay Pal or Bank transfer from your own funds we will give you two tickets for the price of one. If you book your ticket right now you will get all the bonuses and a second ticket free which means you can split the cost with a friend or colleague – and remember you will both get a sumptuous 3 course lunch at the Hoxton Apprentice thrown in as well! If you have already attended my 2 day seminar then you can come for FREE as long as you bring one paying guest. And remember that they can enjoy the two for the price of one deal if paying for themselves. Let’s add that up …..£99 EACH for an amazing day with three world class speakers, delicious Michelin starred 3 course lunch and bonuses worth an extra £120 each. Oops I am losing money. Never mind I want to get you there! Don’t lose this opportunity book here now

Obviously I have been thinking a lot about fear this week. Did you see The Apprentice? Paloma got fired. A talented, successful, professional woman got fired. Why? Not because she did anything wrong but because in the boardroom she let FEAR take over her physiology and she turned into a defensive, aggressive victim. Shame, it doesn’t have to be that way.

My 15 year old daughter made a video for me yesterday. It has been getting a lot of comments on FB. One of them was a private message from a guy who said ‘I was dreading the end thinking that it is was going to say …died in a car crash’ He isn’t unique, we have all been brain-washed by fear based advertising, a fear based economy and a fear based press.

You can peek at that video on FB by clicking this link Facebook - Tracey Carr

When would be the right time to reclaim the source of your happiness?

Book here now

I hope to see you there

With passion!

Tracey

Fear of rejection holding back sales?

2010-11-04T08:43:00.000Z

A little while ago you helped me with some research about the sorts of products and services you want and need in the future. One of the biggest surprises for me was the high percentage of people (87%) who want tips on how to manage the inner saboteur.

So I took action. No point in doing the research if you aren't going to respond right?

I took BIG action. I have organised for you ...a very special event on November 25th bringing together all of the people and information that you need to banish any kind of inner saboteur ...forever! And, I am goingt o be teaching you all my secret skills for managing physiology if you get shaky when you speak in public.

Have a look here at why it is important to manage fear

For really detail information about who is coming and what bonuses you will get and the lovely sumptuous lunch we have laid on for you. Look here all the goodies we've included

And ...this is really exciting ....my dear friend Richard has agreed to come and do a live phobia cure before your very eyes. You will see somebody go from absolute terror to calm in less than an hour. Here is four minutes from Rich who went from Investment Banking to phobias and is now here to help and enter-train you ;-) Rich on life and the Universe

So...please come. We really want as many people as possible to witness these technologies and so have kept the price as low as possible. You can skip all the info if you want and take massive action for your future by booking here Event booking form

To your success!

Gina Rippon's neuro nonsense message is hindering progress

2010-10-19T10:09:00.001+01:00

Dear evesdropping family. I am sure you have heard all the media frenzy over Gina Rippon's http://www1.aston.ac.uk/lhs/staff/az-index/rippong/ assertions that we must 'challenge neuro-nonsense about women's brains' ? I felt so strongly about the damage her message might do I wrote her a personal plea. Here it is. Please add your views too in the comments on this blog

Gina Hi

I have been working with Blue Chip organisations who wish to increase senior female representation for 10 years. In that time there has been little or no progress in the numbers of women in power despite all the good policies and research.

In 2003 I began talking about the fact that men and women might be different and approach leadership differently. Not wrong, not right ...just different. If they (the City) had had eggs they would have thrown them.

Since that time I have been on a mission to have my message heard. Why? Because I have had 10,000 women go through my programmes and they all tell me the same story - they are different and feel misunderstood.

I have no interest in the nature-nurture debate. Clearly it is both.

What worries me about your recent approach is that we are heading back to the good old days of 'shhh...don't talk about it because it causes stereotyping' and my belief is that unless we accept where we are we cant move forward.

I have just launched this http://www.genderiq.tv/ to help organisations to move forward on this political subject and I encourage debate. I also talk about gender being on a scale of masculine/feminine leadership traits. There is no longer a need for the Thatcher stereotype of 'bloke in a skirt' and to avoid women having to go down this road we need to talk about differences and encourage a wider range of acceptable leadership styles.

I hope that we can speak and get on the same page. At the very least we must agree that testosterone causes different behaviour in men and women

Fast, Fast ....women leaders STOP!

2010-10-10T10:14:00.001+01:00

This is the view from where I am sitting as I write this blog. I wish I could include the sounds as well. It is beautiful, peaceful and healing. What feelings does this image invoke in you?

The Summer flew by. I had three teenage daughters at home and they didn't start filing out of the house for productive work until the first week of October! Sometimes it felt very much like I was living in student digs and against this backdrop I have been beavering away getting our product suite ready to launch and working with our trial groups who have bought the first batch of products and services, whether that be the amazing File for Life (time management planner that includes a monthly wheel of life) or our newly launched on-line learning. During the Summer I was standing at the post office sending planners to France, The Netherlands and Spain or sitting at a cafe in Ibiza editing the audio content of our 2 day seminar plus trying to get my head around the massive subject of internet marketing. And the 12 months work that I put into the Gender iQ project is finally paying off with clients having various ideas about how they would like to use the product for internal use.

Phew!

Now then, how did that paragraph make you feel? I wish I could include the feelings of overwhelm and panic in trying to meet my deadlines or production dates and keep all the plates spinning amidst the teenage backdrop of hormones and family need.

My point is this: We all need to go fast if we want to keep up with the current pace of change against the back-drop of a double dip recession. I am heairng that people are scared and feeling out of control. Nothing is familiar or dependable. And when you feel like that it is time to STOP!

When you feel overwhelmed or scared you need to go within. Find the still, small quiet voice or intuition and ask for direction. Do whatever it takes to calm down and reflect. Go to a beautiful place or just take the time to really see your own surroundings and get present.

At these times of trouble there are great opportunities but you can't and wont see them if you are running around like a headless chicken playing somebody else's tune or working towards somebody else's mission. Do you have a mission of your own? What do you want to have or be in five years time? I guarantee that most of you are saying 'I don't know!' If you don't know, now is the time to work on yourself. In fact, work harder on yourself than you do on your job.

I just ran another 2 day break-through seminar with a wonderful group of people who all came with some pretty hefty questions. This is what happened after.

"Wow! what a difference a week makes.....I've just had some really lovely feedback about how the seminar has 'obviously been good for me' as my new authentically positive and enthusiastic approach has come to the fore. There has even been a comment on how I fair 'skipped' into the office on Monday morning - I think they're wondering who I am, and what have I done with Liz?!"

It might be time for you to STOP and look around to make sure your ladder is against the right wall. How will you do that?

And while you are answering that question I would be so grateful if you would take 5 minutes to tell me what products and services you would find most useful in this short survey tell us what you want

My mission is to share with you everything I know and my purpose is to empower women to be, do and have everything they want in life. I know it can be done and I want to share that knowledge with you!

With passion,
Tracey

Women leaders taking steroids

2010-08-21T21:19:00.000+01:00

I don't like the word feminism and I don't call myself a feminist. I prefer to think that I am giving other women a leg-up where I can ....apparently something that is woefully rare in the sister-hood.

Why don't women help other women as a general rule?

I am full of questions and frustrations and even anger this week. I can see how so called 'feminists' get angry and then get labeled militant for being loud and vocal. I am really, really cross about the ingrained stereotypes and unspoken witch-hunts and if you think I have lost the plot...just read here

The Independent - Gender Gap

But don't stop at the article ....read the thread afterwards and then tell me what you think and if that doesn't galvanise you into proactive action, nothing ever will.

I don't have a magic wand or any simple solution. I am doing my best by bringing solid fact-based information regarding biological brain differences and the need for a wider range of leadership styles rather than the all-male testosterone fuelled aggression that brought about the credit crunch (and that is not all men by the way, any more than all women are 'feminine' ) I sincerely hope, that after reading the thread in the Independent link , it will motivate you to push for your companies to license http://www.genderiq.tv/ and mandate ALL employees to watch them (yes women have a lot to learn too) and then measure understanding and demonstration of that understanding. This wont cure misogyny but we have along way to go and we need to start NOW.

Now is not the time to be hesitant or cautious. If the old system is put back together in the same way then we deserve what we get and we wont get to choose.

If you can't influence your organisation then you can at least make sure you are doing your best for YOU - take control, read some books, get some personal development - come on our seminars. Authentic Leadership incorporating Gender IQ     Do whatever It takes to move form being passive to being in control.

If I haven't persuaded you yet that we have a real issue on our hands then consider this: Chairman of the board and CEO of Lehman's (Richard Fuld) when it went down, refused to listen to his senior staff about the iceberg they were headed for and was known to deal with challenges with white knuckle aggression. He dealt with one 'challenger'  by threatening to ram his fist down the critics throat and rip his heart out.

I know that some women are taking steroids to compete with this kind of aggression.

Here's the rub ....softly, softly, don't make too much noise and let the status quo remain. If that's the case most women (and most men) will opt out rather than take part in that kind of insanity

Or, I urge you do something. Make a stand. Push for change. Let us collectively say that we don't want our Organisations run by men like Dick Fuld.

If not now ...then when?

'A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.'
Margaret Mead

Please forward this blog to as many people  as you know who want change.

I am taking a break this week .....watch out for our new launch in September - we have so many great new products and services for you!

With PASSION !

From my 15 year old daughter

2010-08-12T22:15:00.003+01:00

I just got this from my fifteen year old daughter

'Tomorrow I will write my speech about ALL the negative aspects in the world, then become a world leader. Can't isn't in the dictionary'

WoW

What will you do tomorrow?

'Adapt or die'

2010-08-08T22:51:00.001+01:00

Times are changing rapidly

How quickly can you and do you adapt to change?

I just read an interesting report that shows an increase in confidence regarding the economy but a worrying decrease in confidence across all aspects of leadership, especially in HR!

Here are the bullets:

Confidence

In the economic climate increased to 55 percent from 40 percent;

In their leadership teams overall decreased to 72 percent from 82 percent;

That their firms have the right people and skills decreased to 64 percent from 73 percent;

Their organizations have the ability to execute on vision decreased to 64 percent from 73 percent;

That their firms have the ability to change as needed decreased to 55 percent from 60 percent;

Their own personal leadership and management skills decreased slightly to 88 percent from 91 percent; and

In the organization’s strategy making process decreased to 54 percent from 63 percent

You can read about this research here

HR confidence sliding

The ability to change is a key personal and organisational skill and I have written about this before. In fact, it was one of the key topics at the last Authentic Leadership seminar that I ran. My personal take is this - life will never be the same again and change is now a constant.

If you find change hard and are tied to old working paradigms and old change management methods then it might be time to re-evaluate. You have a software programme in your mind that has the potential to keep you in the past unless you know what you need to do to change it.

Change is easy with the right tools.

And on that note I too decided that today was the day for me to write (sorry draw) a new goal plan for the next two years. The last one I did was in 2001 and I achieved everything on the goal map despite very difficult circumstances. If you have been on my seminar you will have seen my goal map and know that when I drew it I had a chronic fear of speaking in public.

I had to change.

I also see the seeds of change beginning to sprout new leaves out there ....for the first time ever (in 10 years) my next seminar is mostly booked up by people who have paid for themselves to attend. People who recognise that they are now in a time when they need to take responsibility for themselves. You too can book here

Every single successful person that I know - without exception - has spent tens of thousands on their own personal development. I personally am heartened to see that people are acting for themselves. Nothing will have a more dramatic effect on your life than moving from passive to engaged in your own development.

Here's a quick 30 second fun video that I made called seminar memories. Join us in September....if the seminar doesn't do what I promise (dramatically increase the quality of your life) I will give you your money back.

seminar memories

Don't worry if you can't join us in September I will do my best to give you whatever I can via the blog and through new media products which will be out soon.

Above all - live with passion!
Tracey
p.s. Darwin said 'adapt or die' ...it seems relevant for today

Agressive bitch or too girly to succeed?

2010-07-27T22:53:00.000+01:00

It has been an interesting day!

I decided to be bolder with my messages and tell it 'like it is' based on the many thousands of women that I have had the honour of coaching over the past 10 years.

We had a wild response! Thank you. We also had two people unsubscribe because they didn't like the swear word and one complained about the American spellings. However, the majority loved it -edgy you said and progressive.

If you didn't see the email today I have copied it below for your interest.

The world is moving on ...are you moving with it?

More importantly, are you joining us in September for a wild time?

************
Let's face it...

As women we now have more

responsibilities than EVER before..

As women we often put others' needs

before our own needs.

As women we have to manage the kids, the

career the finances and our health,

.... And always...

....We put ourselves last.

It's crazy.

The trouble is we don't create clear boundaries.

That's because we feel we don't have the 'right!'

And what's the result of all this internal conflict?

We're often overwhelmed and exhausted by everything.

Yet, nurturing is in our DNA. We're natural team

leaders, peace-keepers and community-builders.

Yet, women in particular, feel like failures if

they don't deal with everything.

This can be a huge barrier to progress at work.

That's because companies want strong leadership.

I know from listening to many thousands of

you that you feel the conflict.

===============================

Damned if you do and damned if you don't

===============================

No wonder you can be unfairly labelled

an "aggressive bitch" if you're too strong or

called "girly" when you aren't seen as being

strong.

This double bind confuses us all on an unconscious level.

Before you know it, we've become ISOLATED and

INEFFECTIVE, surrendouring our feminine power!

However you don't have to surrendour, feel overwhelmed or

feel guilty. You can be powerful, authentic and have all the

time for all the people you care about - including you!

So, if you're a woman who...

- Is frustrated and exhausted with the pressures of your

life but can't seem to find an easier way to manage it all.

- Slogs through your days just checking things off your

'TO DO' list while secretly fearing you'll never even scratch

the surface of your true potential.

- Has no idea how to be truly powerful at work when the

culture and politics dictate you be something you're not!

- Has a lingering void inside you haven't been able to fill no

matter which goals you reach.

- Wishes you knew exactly where to turn to for a clear

path on how to make this puzzle of life work and show you

specific actions to get there.

- Actually enjoys a level of success (professionally or personally)

yet STILL senses something is missing...

...you're in the perfect place RIGHT NOW!

That's because you can join other wonderful and

inspired women at a landmark seminar.

This is a seminar that has been presented in Boston, USA

and Singapore. As well as being presented in London.

This is a seminar that has been presented internally to

Lloyds, Barclays, Vodafone, Serco, B & Q and EDF to name a few

And this seminar has been reported on BBC Radio Four

and on American Radio. And been mentioned in

the Daily Telegraph.

This seminar is titled the Authentic Leadership Seminar.

"... Inspirational seminar..."

"Thank you for a very engaging and enlightening two days.

You are a real inspiration to all of us. Keep spreading

the message!" Katie Ledger, Channel 5 News, ITN

At the Authentic Leadership Seminar you get 2 days of high end

coaching from me, Tracey Carr.

Click here to book now http://www.eve-olution.net/services/booking.asp

Why should you listen to me?

Well, I'm an International Professional

Speaker and Peak Performance Coach.

Also. I've worked with and coached some of

the most successful women leaders in the world.

When I coached these high achieving women I

noticed they had certain common traits. These

traits meant they were able to combine life

and work commitments with extraordinary success.

Now you can discover their same extraordinary success.

That's because I've included these core traits in my seminar.

At the seminar you'll discover:

"Bossy bitch" or "Too girly" - you don't have to be labelled a 'bloke in a skirt'

or lose your feminine power...discover the real meaning of

leadership

At last! Eliminate your fears forever using the powerful

secret of the 'Stop Technique.' Amazing.

Revealed - how to manage your priorities and balance your different

roles in your life. You'll stop feeling as though you are

pulled between home and work. And you won't feel as

if you should resign and pack in your career.

Discover the difference dealing with different genders

in the workplace so you eliminate any potential conflict

forever.

One little known secret to managing conflict and politics

in the workplace. You'll understand the "rules of the

game" and still maintain a highly visible profile within

your company.

How to build instant rapport and trust with

anyone you meet by instantly realizing what type

of person you're dealing with. You'll be amazed how much

easier it is to build a working relationship and get more

work done.

I could go on and on what you'll discover. But I

don't have space here. However there is one really

important thing you need to know. That's how to...

=============================

Tap into the power of your mind to

get what you really want in life

=============================

You'll also discover how to change the way you think.

That's because you'll discover the power of your

unconscious mind. And how your unconscious mind

might be hindering your progress in life right now.

However once you leave the seminar you'll know

exactly how to program your unconscious mind so you achieve

the life you've always dreamed of. Not only this

you'll also discover:

How your childhood experiences could be making you self-sabotage

your success.

You'll be able to burst through this barrier forever.

The five behaviour traits which reveal if you're

a 'hurry up' driver or a 'be strong' driver. Or are you trying to

please everyone all the time?

What leadership style is natural to you by using

the 'Funeral Exercise'. Sounds weird but it's

highly effective.

How you can finally achieve your goals by using 'Risk Assessment'.

This secret method is dead simple and never fails to work.

How you can avoid being sucked into company politics.

Avoid the back stabbing, petty jealousies

and rivalries that can occur in company teams.

Why your corporate image could be stalling your career progress.

And much, MUCH more

In addition you'll also...

========================================

Discover the same tools that enabled me to

build a thriving career against a background of

suicide, divorce, betrayal and financial ruin

=======================================

Here's what makes an Authentic Leadership seminar different to

other development seminars.

The seminar will shape you at every level -

financially, emotionally, mentally and physically.

My seminar does this by giving you the tools that

I have used personally (not from a text book). These

tools enabled me to not only survive but thrive against

some horrific life experiences that include suicide,

divorce, betrayal and financial ruin. Not only that, I know

how it feels to never have enough time because I have

brought up three children on my own and had a highly

successful career

I teach from the heart and only teach that which has

had the most profound effect on my life. That's

because I have studied personal development as

an obsession for 3 decades - psychology, NLP, transactional

analysis, spiritual journey, emotional intelligence and

I have developed my own female-friendly tools to help

you mange your time

Anyway, no need to take my word for it - here are what previous

attendees to my Authentic Leadership Seminar have to say:

"... Brilliant Seminar..."

'I wanted to thank you again for giving me the opportunity

to participate in your truly brilliant seminar; you are a

very gifted coach and I feel that I took so much away

with me. Huge thanks.' Cleo Thompson, former Global

Head of gender at Price Waterhouse and Cooper

"... Can Now Concentrate On What I Want... "

"Even as a high "DI" I have filled my diary with prompts and

tasks and now keep with me in my mind the vision of what

I want (although I did already know, but now also know

that I am going to get it!!)" Jo Williamson, Lloyds

"...Challenge My Feelings of Fear..."

"I learnt to challenge feelings of fear and assessing if my

expectations of myself are reasonable. I've also settled down

into my role at work and spend time thinking about

what is really important to me." Jessica Colling, Vielife

"...Enlightening Motivating Seminar..."

"I found the 2 days enlightening and motivating.
Tracy Back, Lloyds

Once you depart the seminar here's what you'll

take with you.

When you leave the seminar you won't feel over-whelmed.

You won't feel lacking in power. You won't feel guilty.

You'll have overcome all these negative feelings. And you

be able to go forward and have the rewarding career and personal

life you deserve.

Why can I say this?

That's because I've seen at first hand how an Authentic

Leadership Seminar changes women's lives for the better.

I've seen women attendees arrive close to breaking point

And two days later they're a different positive person. It's

almost like magic.

You'll be excited. You'll have a vision for your future. You'll

have better relationships with the people you work with

and with your partner and family at home. You'll get a

huge injection of self confidence and self-esteem. You'll

finally get what you want from life.

You'll also have made friends with a group of like

minded women who're going through the same

experiences as you. Friends you'll want to stay in

contact with. Friends you can confide in. Friends who

can give you any emotional support should you need it.

======================================

21 Day support afterwards so you actually use

the tools and techniques you've been shown

======================================

You'll receive a 28 page personality profile developed

by Minnesota University. This means you'll

be able to discover your strengths and weaknesses.

And concentrate on those areas which need urgent attention

the most.

Plus, you'll receive a goal plan for the next five years. Map

out your goals so they finally become achievable. And you

enjoy the rewarding life you're meant to have.

Plus you'll get a 21 day email follow up. For 21 days

after the seminar you'll get a daily email from me. Every day

I'll send you an email to keep you on track. The

email could include a short video... an audio message...

a reminder of an action to take... a screen shot of an

important point from the seminar...

This daily email helps you to maintain focus and provides you

with the support to carry you forward.

Look, imagine discovering the strategies that can literally

transform your life for the better. Imagine having

an inner peace knowing you can strike the right balance

between work and home. Imagine having it all!

So how do you enrol in the seminar?

The next Authentic Leadership Seminar is at Lythe Hill.

Here you can relax and be pampered throughout your stay.

You'll enjoy luxury 5* accommodation and

waiter service. Plus, you get access to all of the Spa's

amenities.

So reserve your seminar place today. The 2 day seminar

is on 23rd and 24th September.

Click here to book now http://www.eve-olution.net/services/booking.asp

If you reserve your place in the next 14 days

you'll receive a £200 early booking incentive. That's

because I offer a discount for those women who

book two months before my seminars.

Click here to book now

===============================

Only a few seminar places still available

===============================

Please reserve your place today. Here's why:

Places are limited on this seminar. That's because

I prefer to coach smaller groups. So there are only

10 seminar places available. This way there is more

opportunity for more interaction between you and me.

And you get more out of the event.

However, four seminar places have already gone.

Those places have been booked. Obviously that

leaves just six places left.

Also, please reserve one of the six places

available today for two more reasons.

1. This email is being received by over 4,000 women

working in the corporate world.

2. I'm not sure if I'll be running another Authentic

Leadership Seminar in 2010. That's because my

Diary for the rest of 2010 is frantic. Of course this

could change. But please don't count on it.

If you need more info on me or the seminar click here www.eve-olution.net

Reserve your place today!

Click here to book now http://www.eve-olution.net/services/booking.asp

==============================

Receive a full unconditional refund -

Plus £100 If you're not delighted

==============================

I guarantee you'll get a lot out of this event. So I want

to remove any financial doubt you may have.

If you're not delighted by my seminar's content,

come and see me at the close of Day Two. And I'll

give you a full refund.... PLUS an extra £100.

Why would I do this?

The answer is simple. I want you to be absolutely delighted

when you attend my seminar. And if I've got to offer a

super strong guarantee, then so be it. In fact I'll even extend

my guarantee to cover the next 12 months.

If you don't see any improvement in any of the areas I

cover in the Authentic Leadership seminar...

... Then I insist you contact me for the full refund plus

the £100. You can even contact me on Day 364 and still

get the full refund. That's because I stand fully behind my

seminar guarantee.

However, in 10 years of presenting any of my seminars

None of my attendees has felt the need to ask for their

money back.

So you're risking nothing when you reserve your place today.

This seminar isn't a luxury. You need the solid life

and career enhancing content it contains. So I urge you to

Reserve your place today. You'll be glad you did.

Click here to book now http://www.eve-olution.net/services/booking.asp

I look forward to seeing you in September.

Tracey Carr

Chief Executive

PS. You can check out the seminar venue at the Lythe Hill Spa web site:

www.lythehill.co.uk

PPS. Here are some more comments from seminar attendees:

"... One of the Best 'Return on Investments' I've Made in Years ..."

"My doubts were blown away with a thought-provoking, pragmatic

and commercially orientated workshop - delivered professionally

and at a blistering pace!

The tools/techniques and processes learnt will stay with me and

the ongoing support/challenge from my fellow delegates, stimulated

with great discipline by Tracey, will endure. Truly one of the best

'return on investments' I've made in years... Thank you!"

Joanna Slevin, Head of Strategy & Planning, Lloyds TSB Group.

"... Now Have a New Life Trail To Follow..."

"As a genuinely sceptical person with regard to self assessment

and motivation, I did not believe that I would gain enough from the

course that could re-align my thoughts on the subject, let alone

re-align my direction in life. However, I was amazed. I am still

amazed. One and a half months on I still have motivation on the

subject, which must be a first from a course for me and am

continuing on my new life trail." Michelle Stodell, Project Manger, Serco.

"... The Course Has Made Me 'Go For It...'"

"The course has made me "go for it!", be more organised in my life

and also made me realise that having balance in your life is really

important." Emma Satchwell, Compass Group

"... Turning Point in My life"

"I'm still putting into action the skills learnt on the course. I

especially found the life mapping good as it helps me to focus on targets and

half of my targets I have achieved so far. It helped me fight for pay

increments and gave me back my sanity at a time where I was at

my lowest ebb." Fiona Lynch, Compass Group

2010-07-18T21:48:00.000+01:00

Life is busy busy for me at the moment and I am learning a great deal about what makes me tick, what excites me, what motivates me, what sustains me...and the flip side of the coin..what robs my energy, what demotivates me and what floors me! It is my belief that, at times of high intensity, all of our behaviours become exaggerated and are put under the magnifying glass!

I was reminded of who I am by Julie Meyer at a small gathering last week organised by the wonderful networking group WiTT http://www.wittgroup.org/ which was held at Coutts Bank in the Strand

Julie Meyer is one of the leading champions for entrepreneurship in Europe. She is the well known founder and CEO of Ariadne Capital, founder of Entrepreneur Country, co-founder of First Tuesday, dragon on BBC's Online Dragons Den and weekly columnist in London's City A.M. She also earned awards as Ernst & Young Entrepreneur of the Year, World Economic Forum Global Leader of Tomorrow and a place in the Wall Street Journal's Top 30 Most Influential Women in Europe.

Phew! Are you tired just reading it?

I go to a lot of events and hear a lot of key note speakers and so I was intrigued when I entered the room but what I didn't expect was to leave in tears! Julie spoke passionately and eloquently about the life of an entrepreneur and what makes them tick. She is the only person I have ever heard speak on entrepreneurship who really seemed to know the song in my heart and was able to sing it back to me.

Leading can be a lonely path. Mixing with others who are like you (networking) is vital. Do you network? Where do you network? Do you have a strategy? As women we can easily say we 'dont have time' ...I suggest to you that you MUST! One of the best places for women to form bonds and networks is on our Authentic Leadership seminar held at the beautiful Lythe Hill Spa http://www.eve-olution.net/services/seminars.asp Please join us in September if you want to be part of this fantastic supportive environment

My 15 year old daughter was networking last week too. Thanks to Linda Kennedy, Head of People at Orange, Grace was privileged to get a weeks work experience at Orange and she loved it! They gave her a fantastic work experience and she was offered four more opportunities by the end of the week. A big thanks to Orange!

The message this week is about the importance of getting yourself out there....watch this space, I have something brewing!

With passion!
Tracey
.

Yo Sushi Founder - tips for success

2010-07-05T13:34:00.000+01:00

I have had an amazing and very busy couple of weeks since my last blog….we finished all the remaining films for our Gender IQ series. Contributors include Professor Joe Herbert from Cambridge University who told me about the differences in testosterone levels between men and women and the effect this has on behaviour. Professor Herbert was the man behind the study on effects of testosterone on a City trading floor..some of you may have read about that..what did you think? Another contributor who had some valuable insights was Ed Smith who sits on various boards and Chairs the WWF but interestingly also sits on the advisory board for the advancement of women in sport. The same gender differences play out in sport it seems and especially in the area of visisbility and networking!

If you would like to view any of the webcasts, remember that there is a whole set of resources including comprehensive workbooks, research, articles and a Q&A function that comes straight to my in-box. Each film includes an interview with an industry leader and is synched to Power Point for added information and you can watch each film as many times as you wish. There is an incredibly small charge of £25. Less than the price of a good lunch …go on what are you waiting for ? …Learn how the hidden barriers caused by a lack of Gender IQ could be holding your career back and get some real practical management development at the same time. Click here for further information http://www.genderiq.tv/webcasts#ixzz0so4BGhQ2

I am always investing in my own learning and spend a large proportion of my time at events, in coaching and mentoring or reading. The world is changing rapidly and it is becoming increasingly more challenging to stay ahead of the curve so last Friday I went to an all day Speakers event. One of my favourites from the day was Simon Woodroffe who founded Yo Sushi and was a Dragon in Dragon’s Den. Did you know that he left school with 2 O levels and didn’t start Yo Sushi until he was in his mid forties? His story was great to listen to and he had some good practical advice for us such as the following bullets. I hope you like them and use them.

• Spend 90% of your time doing what you’re good at

• Become a well developed person with good character (work harder on yourself than you do on your job)

• Record your goals and then spend 30 days programming your mind to DO IT

• Develop a certain amount of ‘f*ck it’ syndrome!

Until next time...do you remember that Supertramp song ....The Logical Song? I cant get it out of my head!

Be realistic - plan for a miracle

2010-06-20T20:58:00.001+01:00

Wow... I was overwhelmed with feedback from so many people following my request for information re: 'what works for you' Thank you.

The loudest message was that you are getting lots out of my blogging and I am very grateful for all the kind comments and support that you sent me. It is nourishing to know that you are sharing the ideas with your teams and that you find my thoughts to be of so much benefit to you personally.

Most of you said that a quarterly newsletter was your preferred option and the blogging requests were fairly evenly slept between one and two weeks. Most of you prefer written words to videos. However, some of you would like a video or visuals sometimes.

Onwards and upwards then! I am inspired to carry on blogging away to my hearts content knowing that you are reading them and getting so much out of them. I am glad the need for the more formal newsletter is less frequent as I prefer the more informal blogging as a way of speaking to you. The next newsletter will be re-launched in September and will bring you news of our new product launches and news of the launch of www.genderiq.tv as well. Exciting times!

I have just competed another Authentic Leadership seminar and it was amazing. What a fantastic group of women - both corporate and entrepreneurs. Most of us have been thought some pretty tough times in the past couple of years and some of us are still. The corporate world is still uncertain and people in some organizations are feeling vulnerable and unsure. We had lots of discussions last week about how to manage feelings of uncertainty against the backdrop of an uncertain world. My key tip now, as ever, is ... the only thing you can ever be certain is you, so build your inner resources, decide what you want out of life and then execute a plan for getting it. With the right vision, correct mental and emotional strategy - nothing is impossible.

Sales of anti-depressants have gone though the roof during this recession. It is much much simpler to find out how to think, feel and act like a winner regardless of external circumstances.

How about this?

'Be realistic - plan for a miracle' - Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

With passion,
Tracey!

Big rocks, social media and white noise

2010-06-03T21:34:00.004+01:00

You may have noticed that I haven't blogged for three months …but the likelihood is that you probably didn't and the reason for that is we are all overwhelmed with information which I sometimes liken to white noise. Information is doubling every eighteen months and most of us have become brilliant at scanning/speed-reading/deleting. Our attention span is approximately 4 seconds when we give our attention to something on the internet. If we are not 'caught' immediately we’re off to the next.

Reading habits have changed because of the internet – have you ever tried to read a website with a child and found yourself saying 'slow down, you can't possibly read that fast' ...but they can and they do.

So, I have been pondering all this and especially about the amount of time that social media takes up in my life. I recognize that the pressure to 'keep up' has had some effect on the amount of time I dedicate to the big rocks…in other words, the really important or critical work that is essential to move the business forward. It is a thin line and a constant juggle for all of us to prioritize with so many demands on our time.

I took my own medicine ... coached myself ... disciplined myself and asked 'what is the value in all of the activities that you are involved in when weighted against each other?' If we get behind in taking care of our big rocks – strategy/vision/planning/prevention/sales, can we really justify sending another tweet/writing another newsletter or another blog?

And I am fully energized with this new found freedom and want to ask you ... what do you want? So that I can offer you the best of everything without giving lots of stuff that doesn't make a difference I need your help.

Please take some time to email me with your thoughts on how we can best serve you...

* How often would you like to read the newsletter….monthly or quarterly?
* Shall I blog daily, weekly or monthly?
* Do you understand Twitter? If so, please enlighten me
* What is the best way to bring you free coaching tips?

1. Brief paras?
2. Video clips?
3. By email/text or blog?

Please email me at tracey@eve-olution.net and answer all or some of the above or add whatever comes to mind. Anything will really help to inform the new strategy which must be useful to you first and foremost.

And finally, when was the last time you re-evaluated, took a breath and gave yourself the gift of critical thinking time?

With passion!
Tracey

Meeting Richard Branson

2010-03-11T12:42:00.003Z

What a whirlwind month and an eye opener too ! I was honoured to be invited to a charity event hosted by Richard Branson in Verbier, Switzerland to raise money for sustainable development in emerging countries. As some of you know, it is part of our mission, going forward, to take our work to developing parts of the world through the use of technology and we have already established some key relationships with this in mind. Our chosen charity is Microloan Foundation and you can read more about their inspirational work here www.microloanfoundation.org.uk

However, I want to focus here on the lesson I took away from Verbier. Imagine the scene ….the Ball was on top of the mountain and they opened up the bubble car for us to get up there dressed in our finery. First snag …high heeled shoes don’t work too well in deep snow and ice in the dark! So, we wore our snow boots with our party dresses and changed into shoes when we got there. What a giggle!

I was dumb struck as soon as I walked in …not only was it a very small, intimate and very beautiful environment but most of the guests were A listers ….including Princess Beatrice! Now then, I am used to mixing with successful people but this was in a different league. One of the auction bids for a holiday on Necker Island reached the £40,000 mark! Richard Branson was the first person to walk up to me and say hello and, needless to say, he is warm and charming but what a pattern interrupt as I stepped off the bubble car!

As you may know by now I tend to observe and analyse and ask myself questions. My first thoughts were that I felt out of my comfort zone …I realised that we are more comfortable in our own environment and know what to talk about in our usual social circles but what do you talk about to people who are operating in a different social stratosphere? I decided to calibrate, mingle and walk my talk …I decided to be an equal and go and find out about the people as individuals and humans with the same human foibles that we all have.

Once I had got over being ‘star struck’ I had a ball (excuse the pun) and made some very interesting new friends.

Also, in hindsight, I recognize that the whole experience was highly motivating for me. It was good to be reminded that ..no matter how well you think you are doing there is always another level to aim for.

Where in your life could you get out for your comfort zone and take your life to another level?

Back to normality we are buzzing with activity for International Women’s week with free places on our Grab Your Future live webinars (see below) and our Gender IQ platform is really taking off and seems to be ticking the right boxes for Organisations who are asking the question ‘where do we go from here if we want to move from talk to action?’

Places are booking up fast for the June, Authentic Leadership seminar. Isn’t it time you really got to know yourself in beautiful surroundings with wonderful supportive women to create a blue-print for the rest of your life? Join us!

And don't forget to 'live with passion'!

Queen Bee syndrome

2010-02-28T21:41:00.003Z

Have you ever been taken aback by the seemingly disproportionate amount of back-biting that seems to go on sometimes amongst a group of highly successful women who are in the same work or social group? Have you ever had a female boss who distances herself from supporting and mentoring more junior women?

This is actually a well known syndrome called 'Queen Bee syndrome' and Wikipedia has this definition: 'A queen bee is the leader of a female group, a clique's leader, usually a popular lady. Characteristics often associated to her are a pleasant appearance, charisma, skill in manipulation, and monetary power. She is sometimes portrayed as the Head Cheerleader, Prom Queen, Homecoming Queen, etc. The queen bee has substantial influence and power over the clique, and is usually envied and looked upon as a role model by clique members and at times by outsiders to the clique. Her actions are closely followed and imitated, even though they may not be of a positive nature. The social role of the outcast is defined as anyone that the queen bee dislikes. Clique members may victimize the outcast in order to continue their membership in the clique, or to receive praise from the queen bee.'

Why do some women feel the need to prove themselves slimmer, smarter, more attractive or successful than others? It is a question that still puzzles me after almost a decade in this work. However I do see certain commonalities amongst people in this group. Firstly, they seem to have a high need for significance and also a high need to prove themselves to the world.

If you have been on the receiving end of this behaviour it can be very painful as it seems to have no basis in fact or reality is driven purely by emotional greed. This can be difficult in a business relationship as these kinds of emotions can be highly destructive, not just to the individual but to everybody involved.

If you know or are involved with a Queen Bee, the best thing you can do is continue to work on yourself so that you can rise above it.

Remember what Jim Rohn once said 'work harder on yourself than you do on your job' and in that way other peoples negativity will just float over your head.

Leading amongst car crashes

2010-02-21T21:28:00.007Z

This blog will be a little philosophical....no don't go away, there is an important lesson here for me and maybe for some of you too!

If you are following me on Face book you will know that, on Saturday, I had a fit of spontaneity ...the sun was shining and the Sea was calling, so rubber hit road and off we went to Brighton!

However, it turned out to be a remarkable journey because almost every 5 miles there was a car crash. Crashes appeared to be happening for no apparent reason...no ice, no rain, no snow...just random and spontaneous events. If you believe in energy cycles you would put it down to the waxing and/or waning of the moon.

Then, today, I heard that one of my best and oldest friends had been involved in a serious car accident and so I went to see her. The experience of seeing an old friend in shock and pain left me shocked too ...the sort of shock that makes you re-evaluate and celebrate your life and hug your kids.

Before seeing my friend this morning I had done two hours planning. If you attended my web presentation last week - Grab Your Future by the Horns - you will know that I am a firm believer in planning and staying focused. My plan had been to do 4 hours work before Monday morning. BUT ...the 'shock' of my friends crash was threatening to eclipse all plans.

I had an interesting conversation with my inner voice that went something like this 'sod the work...friends and family are all that matter, work isn't important' but 'work is important ...there are people who like to read my blog' and then 'so, I dont care, I don't want to do it, I want a glass of wine instead and to carry on feeling sad and shocked'

But then I remembered what I had told the delegates in the web conference last week ..'if I get into every' ...wait for it, these were my exact words 'emotional car crash with those I love (especially with 3 teenagers), I will never move ahead.'

So it was with reticence (and a glass of wine) that I sat down to write this blog. I hope that by doing so it has helped you too, to remain on track, ....even when the emotional car crashes are frequent.

My work has been a gift this evening. A poem from 'Guramayi' springs to mind:

I held a moment in my hand,
brilliant as a star,
fragile as a flower,
a tiny sliver of one hour.
I dripped it carelessly,
Oh God, I knew not, I held opportunity

And remember that the emotional car crashes will be more frequent for the female brain because of the way it is wired!

With passion!
Tracey

Women in Leadership - tear up the rule book

2010-02-07T21:18:00.002Z

The seventh tool for increasing effectiveness is to tear up the rule book. I believe that this is imperative at this time for women in leadership because the world is calling for a new model of leadership that includes women. That doesn't mean that the world wants women to lead like a 'bloke in a skirt' but requests that we own our powerful feminine force. That means being authentic and true to yourself.

So ...tear up the rule book, look for new ways to do things and lead with a feminine set of skills, traits and abilities that include collaboration, using intuition, communicating with your team and using a transformational leadership style instead of a transactional one.

This may be harder to achieve than it sounds because women face the 'double bind' which is that you will be damned if you do and damned if you don't. In other words - if you are directive and transactional you might be called too 'ballsy' and if you are collaborative and transformational you might be called too 'soft' This double bind only appears for women as a man might be called a good leader if he is direct and strong. She can't win either way and it is women as well as men who will condemn her if she 'gets it wrong'.

So what do you do? Decide who you are and plan who you want to be as well as what you want to do. Wite yourself a set of promises and goals and find an accountability partner.

Navigating the seas of politics will be easier when you accept that the Leaders' job is to set and maintain the culture. Remember - leading is about being in front and that means that there isn't anybody to follow.

If all of this sounds too conceptual then measure and assess the culture by how people are talking to each other - are they bitching and back biting or are they supportive and goal orientated?

If it is the former then you must go about tearing up the rule book and find ways to work on the culture using your femine strengths of intuition, communication, collaboration and honesty. Work on the culture until it is what it needs to be for you all to grow together.

If enough women did this we might just have a chance of making the change that the world is calling for.

With Passion!
Tracey

Special announcement - correction

2010-02-01T09:38:00.002Z

Sorry folks .. the 12th February is a Friday and my email addy is tracey@eve-olution.net ....blogging late on a Sunday, night tut tut :-)

Special announcement

2010-01-31T20:33:00.003Z

2009 wasn't the year that we sat around lamenting the reduction in investment of Leadership development. We took the opportunity, instead, to re-invent our business to better suit your 21st Century needs.

As many of you know, we are now well on the way to delivering a full suite of management development modules incorporating leading executive interviews via web technology. Thank you so much for all the positive feedback. Many companies are licensing the full suite for your internal use which is great. However, if you wish to pay for yourself you can go the website and register for one or all of the workshops here www.genderiq.tv

Also in February we are kicking off our exciting new project 'Grab your future by the horns' which is being hosted by Cisco who have kindly given us the use of their futuristic Telepresence technology (pictured above) If you would like to take part in this event then you can do so free of charge ...either by attending and experiencing Telepresence at Cisco or by dialling in from anywhere in the world at 12.30pm on Thursday 12th February.

Please don't miss this opportunity to get some great coaching on achieving your goals this year in an exciting and innovative environment.

Please mail me on tracey@eve-olution.net and tell if you are interested in attending or dialling in.

Wishing all of us an energetic, different and exciting year.
With passion!
Tracey

The Seventh Tool for Increasing Effectiveness

2010-01-03T20:29:00.005Z

Happy New Year and welcome back.

Are you energised and raring to go or suffering post holiday blues and lethargy? Most of us will be feeling the latter ....boring drudge, grey skies, early starts in the dark, missing loved ones. And then..., one or two of us might be feeling like we are ready to take on the world, jump out of bed at 5am to go to the gym before work, excited about all our plans for evolution (not passive New Years resolutions but real evolving and lasting change) and enough energy to light up the dullest office.

What's the difference between these individuals? If you are feeling like the former then I guarantee it is because you feel out of control. If you are excited and energised about 2010 I guarantee you feel in control of your life and dreams and on track for achieving them.

If you want to know how to get from passive (out of control) to active (in control and headed in the right direction) then please give yourself the gift of learning the skills and strategies that will put you back in the drivers seat. We are launching a new web based range of products that will be delivered to you at your desk and if you want to take part in our launch then you can do so absolutely FREE OF CHARGE. What have you got to lose? Email me now on tracey@eve-olution.net if you want to take part in this exciting project that I guarantee will increase the quality of your life this year. Grab your future by the horns!

So....what is the seventh tool for increasing effectiveness? This is the last one and I am in a quandary. We really MUST have physical fitness (strong body = strong mind) on our list but as that is so obvious and will be covered in the 'Grab your future by the horns' programme, I am going to cover something a little more complex here.

The seventh tool is 'tear up the rules of the game' Yes, you heard it right. Leading is about being in front. There is nobody to follow and nobody to ask. If you think about it in the extreme - it isn't the reasonable woman or man that changes the world, it is the unreasonable one. Mother Theresa wasn't reasonable neither was Nelson Mandela or anybody else who ever made a difference to their workplace or the world. The reasonable person can always figure out why something can't be done and that's good and it's logical and it makes sense but the unreasonable person looks for the only way that it can be done. Failure isn't an option with this mindset. As Eddison allegedly said, "I have not failed 1,000 times. I have successfully discovered 1,000 ways to NOT make a light bulb."

I will go into more details on strategy for remaining responsible and professional whilst 'tearing up the rules of the game' in my next blog.

Which I promise ...as I evolve...will be more frequent in 2010

Make 2010 great!

Top Executive Study on Women in Leadership

2009-11-19T19:32:00.003Z

Yes, I have been in a bloggers black hole and I can only apologise if you are still hanging out for that elusive 7th tool for increasing effectiveness. The truth is .....I have been stretched way beyond my comfort zones by the Gender IQ web project ...but I am coming out of the tunnel, rubbing my eyes and saying 'wow what a view' and I can now give you a 7th tool that that was worth the wait. Yes, my big stretch has taught me some things that I am going to share with you but not today.

Today, I am coming out of bloggers black hole in a rage.

I recently heard about an article in de Volkskrant, one of The Netherlands’ leading newspapers. The article summarized research done on “why the flow of women to the top falters.” 831 of the most influential business executives at top companies in The Netherlands were polled. Here are a few quotes from these executives as printed in the article:

“Women are not ready [to be top executives].”
“Men choose men [for leadership positions].”
“Women cannot handle the pressure [of leadership coupled] with the private sphere.”
“The rise of ‘female-friendly behaviour’ [i.e., quotas] means concessions to quality.”
“In selecting the really senior executives, the rules are different. And those [rules] are rarely public.”
“Female directors…have negative experiences with other women at the top.”

Well, I wonder how much of this is what the top (mostly male) executives think across Europe and could this explain the lid that seems to be in place on female leadership?

In Psychology they have run experiments with fleas where they put them in a jar and put the lid on. The fleas jump up and hit the lid. After a while the lid is taken off but the fleas never jump higher then the top of the jar again.

No we're not fleas but .....

2009-10-07T17:12:00.002+01:00

All speed ahead now for the first event of the Gender IQ programme - on 15th October we kick off with a freebie video event entitled There's No Crying in Business (you can register online to attend, and all attendees will earn a discount off their first booking). Since announcing the event I have found this is a subject that makes a lot of people uneasy. In truth I am not surprised - but it is interesting to try to understand why this is. Why are we uncomfortable with obvious emotions? And why are women more prone to cry than men? All questions I will bring you answers to in the event on the 15th of course!

I borrowed the title of the event from an article by Stanley Bing in Fortune Magazine. It is well worth a read as it highlights some of the difficulties women and men face when working together in business. Take a look - and please do comment and let me know what you think. And I hope to meet with many of you in the virtual world at the free event next week. Register here!

Women in Leadership - tools for increasing effectivness

2009-09-17T21:59:00.004+01:00

We have almost completed our 7 tools for increasing effectiveness so here is a quick re-cap of what they are to ensure that they stay fresh in your minds.

Communicate clearly and explicitly
Consistent execution
Take care of yourself first
Schedule critical thinking time
Make tough decisions sooner

The 6th tool for increasing effectiveness is 'bring the I in me to work'

I have to make a confession at this point and that is that I stole this phrase from an amazing woman that I had the very good fortune to meet recently. Her name is Alison Pothier and she has enjoyed a successful career in Investment Banking and made it to Managing Director at a young age. In Alison's own words she 'didn't recognise the woman in the mirror' She knew who she was and how she got the job done but she couldn't see Alison in the mirror.

Alison has a truly compelling story to tell and if you are lucky enough to be coming on my Authentic Leadership seminar next week then Alison will be dropping by to tell you the story herself. If not, don't worry because she has promised to write it down and maybe even share a video or two with you in our next newsletter. If you are not signed up for the newsletter then please do so here http://www.eve-olution.net/

Alison's story clearly illustrates the need for us all - men and women - to insist on bringing the 'I in me' to work and that simply means being true to your own passions and aspirations. It means being authentic.

Why is this a tool for increasing effectiveness? Because nothing will give you more energy to get the job done than knowing what your own mission is and working toward it for 5 minutes a day. Having a vision is vital for the human spirit and yet most of us are walking around in a trance not even having enough energy to get through the day.

Personally, I believe that this is even more important for women who are are also emulating the male work ethic and taking on male characteristics in order to get ahead. Nothing is more powerful than your own authentic voice.

If you haven't got the time or the resources to attend one of our seminars there are hundreds of books that you can buy that will help you begin this journey to self awareness. Just take 5 minutes a day to get to know yourself so that your vision is clear and your energy, charisma and therefor your effectiveness will improve in leaps and bounds.

With passion!

Tracey

The Sound of Music

2009-08-28T10:36:00.004+01:00

I have been so busy lately and, as we know, being under pressure does not induce our most resourceful state as our primary drivers can become over-extended.. So this morning I reminded myself to breathe and took four minutes out of my daily rush to watch this - 200 dancers achieved this with just 2 rehearsals. Awesome!

Watching the video changed my state from 'hurry up' to 'relax' because it made me smile and it took 4 minutes of my time. Well, actually it is going to take 20 minutes of my time because it prompted me to want to share the lesson with you and I am now writing a blog instead of doing something else.

Which brings me to another exciting piece of news. We are in the process of bringing you some tools for managing time. Yawn, I can hear you... However, I don’t believe that any time management planner or system that I have ever seen works for women. Why? Because they are designed by men and men don't , generally, take responsibility for a sucessful home-life as well as the success of the company. The system and tools that we have created were based on my experiences juggling single Motherhood and a full-on career. I am a perfectionist for systems that work and this works for me so I am confident it will work for you too, and by that I mean - having it all without stress! If you are interested then register here and we’ll send you some information next month.

If you are waiting for the sixth tool for increasing effectiveness, don’t worry, it will be with you next week.

Meanwhile, breath right down into your diaphragm and smile your way to a wonderful long weekend with you loved ones.

With passion!
Tracey

Make tough decisions sooner

2009-08-11T21:48:00.003+01:00

I had lunch with Sarah Speake today, an awesome female leader who is...in her own words..having it all. Sarah has 2 young children and is Google's Industry Leader for Technology. By any standard this is a serious job and yet Sarah leaves the office at 5pm every day. Compare this to the lady that I met for coffee this morning who works in banking and was last week called to a 1am conference call that lasted until 4am ...no, not an International call but a UK based call and all participants were on GMT!

Anyway, I digress from our tools for effectiveness. Sarah and I spent a long time chatting about the fact that, as women, we generally have a harder time making the tough calls. Not only do we find it harder because our brains are wired for empathy and connection but we are labeled with nasty expletives when do. This is called a double bind. In other words, you can't win because you will be damned if you do and damned if you don't.

However, we must rise above the politics and make decisions that are best for the project, the business, the goal or the outcome. I often get push back on this (from men and women who have a more feminine brain) who say that people are more important than work. I think this is too black and white and too simplistic. If you care deeply about the quality of your work and the end game then work should be of value to you too. I'm not advocating putting work ahead of people but sometimes we need to make tough decisions for the sake of the business and the only way that I can do this without causing myself emotional trauma is to imagine that the business is my baby and I am responsible for its welfare. It might sound strange but re-framing it in this way shifts the emotion to another place where it can be a force that works with you rather than against you.

How many times have you procrastinated over tough decision because you didn't want to 'upset' the person or the people only to realise that because you left it so long the relationship deteriorated more than it had to?

I have learnt in my career that it is best to make the tough call as soon as you can using the emotional strategy above, if you need to, and bearing in mind that you are releasing yourself and others for even greater work than you could have done together.

The fifth tool for increasing effectiveness is make tough decisions sooner.

With passion!

Tracey

PS if you want to hear more about Sarah Speake she will be writing an article for our next newsletter and so make sure you sign up for the newsletter at our website http://www.eve-olution.net/

An amazing journey

2009-08-04T20:56:00.007+01:00

It feels like a very long time since I last blogged. A lot has been happening in my small world since I last wrote, not least a fantastic holiday with my three daughters. This was the first holiday where it felt like we were all 'mates' and I realised that our relationships have transformed from parent/child to peers.

It has been an amazing journey, juggling being a single parent and running a successful business and one that has taught me many lessons. I am proud to have developed systems for integrating my responsibilities as a parent with my responsibilities as a Director. So proud, in fact, that I am about to launch a new product that will bring that information to you. But, more about that later. What's our fourth tool for increasing effectiveness?

I realised the value of the fourth tool on holiday. For three days I didn't even want to lift my head from the poolside sunbed but on the fourth day I started to regain the benefit of an alert mind and began mulling over all the activity that I had been involved in at work. New product launches, new video webcasts, writing a book, joint ventures and new and old clients. I didn't analyse anything, I just let it all process and by day five I was sitting in a beach side cafe alone with a paper napkin, pen and a clear and concise plan in my head.Have you guessed what the fourth tool is yet? It is 'critical thinking time.'

I am sure that this seems ludicrous to some of you who don't have enough hours in the day. I know that some of you are working very long hours to get through these tough times and barely have enough time to sleep.I also know what it feels like to have a tired mind. I know that you can't think effectively when you don't give yourself time and space to do so. If you are under stress and you need to make tough decisions then it is essential that you schedule critical thinking time. At the very least you should be spending a few hours once month to think critically about the big picture and to see if there is a more effective way to reach your goals.

When are you going to do this? I do mine weekly on Sundays and daily before I start work. If I have multiple and complex decisions to make then I take a few hours to focus on the specific area of concern. This can be whilst I am running on the Downs or sitting in my garden at the weekends. The important thing is to schedule it and I know people who will set the alarm for 4 a.m. so that they can have critical thinking time.

You may not need to be so extreme but it is worth remembering that you can earn a living by working on your job or earn a fortune by working on yourself.With more passion than usual!
Tracey

Women leaders need to delegate more

2009-07-17T10:36:00.006+01:00

To finish off the third tool for increasing effectiveness I want to talk a little about delegation. I have worked with over 1500 women and it never ceases to amaze me how much we take upon ourselves and rarely ask for help. I want to pose a question to you. What else could you do with your time if you were delegating more? I am off to Corfu next week to do some snorkeling with my three daughters so there wont be a blog - some things can't be delegated but they can be deferred!

So firstly, a reminder that delegation is not abdication. We are still responsible for running a tight ship and making sure that we deliver (refer back to tools one and two for tips on how to do this) but we can't just 'trust' that things will be done the way we want them to be done. Regardless we must strike the balance between control and trust.

Here are some basic tips on how to delegate, we have already covered this in Tool One (Communicate clearly and explicitly) but it is worth reminding ourselves, especially in the current climate when everybody has too much to do and not enough time!

1. Define the task or output clearly. What results do you expect? Get agreement on the targets and objectives
2. Make sure that the person you are delegating to has demonstrated competence in that area
3. Explain the restraints and rules
4. Explain what resources the person can use i.e. people/money/tools
5. Ask the person if they have any questions or feedback
6. Specify a deadline
7. Tell the person how you will be measuring their progress. What gets measured is what gets done!
8. Tell them what the consequences of poor performance will be

It is vital that you delegate everything that somebody else can do whose time is less valuable than yours. What do I mean by this? If I can earn £25 an hour and my cleaner/ironing lady charges me £8 an hour, I have made a profit of £17 by delegating the task of cleaning and ironing.

Some of us find it natural to delegate work projects but then we get stressed out trying to do everything at home. When was the last time you asked your teenage children to do their own washing or your partner to do the shopping or the cooking? I have heard women say that they don't want to 'give up' the home responsibilities. Let's put it this way - I doubt you will come to the end of your life and wish you had done more ironing!

With passion!
Tracey

What is gender diversity?

2009-07-06T12:26:00.006+01:00

It takes a strong man...

I am going to be very short this week because I want to encourage you to read the interview within the link on what it took to get the other half of the population onto Norwegian boards. A brave man indeed!

Gender is not a silo under the topic of diversity because it affects every single human being on the planet. Put simply, we know that there are neurological and chemical differences in the male and female brain. A man can have feminine wiring and a woman can have male wiring. The trouble with the current status quo (especially in finance and law) is that only females with male wiring get promoted to senior positions. It is time for all of us in every profession, industry, vocation and in schools and in politics to educate ourselves on this fundamental information so that we can begin to widen the accepted range of leadership behaviours and styles.

Or do we have to force the issue as they did in Norway? What do you think?

With passion as always!
Tracey

Best practise for managing time

2009-06-21T20:40:00.005+01:00

Last week I said that you must cultivate the philosophical mind-set that puts you first. Since I wrote last weeks blog I have completed another Authentic Leadership Seminar for Women Leaders from diverse companies such as ...Coke, Lloyds, Cisco, Vodafone and Cigna, amongst others.

During the event last week, a large majority of our discussion time was taken up by the very important subject of work/life balance. I hesitate to use the phrase 'work-life balance' because it has become a well used cliche but when I am facilitating group discussions with women who are trying to manage the feelings of guilt spawned by a high flying career when they also have young children, it is a very serious topic indeed. These women are often the majority earners and their husbands either stay at home or earn far less. Managing feelings and expectations in these new 21st Century relationships is tricky.

It is possible to keep all the balls in the air and to feel less guilty through creating a time management system for the whole of life. One of the keys to it's effectiveness is your willingness to put your well-being first so that you have enough energy to keep all the balls in the air at the same time.

Once you have a plan for life and have identified your key roles and responsibilities you need to start getting ruthless about how you invest time.

Here are some strategies for making the most of your precious time:

1. Plan your day before it starts
2. Analyse activities and prioritise them
3. Analyse your colleagues/peers/customers to identify time wasters
4. Manage interruptions - learn to say NO!
5. Control telephone and email by scheduling block time for it
6. Learn how to terminate discussions, identity a strategy for doing this (email tracey@eve-olution.net if you need more support or tips here)
7. Delegate

The last point - delegation - is a subject in itself and I will go over this in more detail next week.

Remember that time is the only thing that is equal - you can run out of money and/or talent and you can get it all back again but time ticks away and it will never return. Spend it wisely.

For now, breathe in some sunshine and Live with Passion!
Tracey

Sir Stuart Rose says you've never had it so good

2009-06-15T09:06:00.002+01:00

Sir Stuart Rose. Executive Chairman of Marks and Spencer, recently said this "Apart from the fact that you've got more equality than you ever can deal with, the fact of the matter is that you've got real democracy and there are really no glass ceilings, despite the fact that some of you moan about it all the time. Women can get to the top of any single job that they want to in the UK. I mean, what else do you want to do, for God's sake? Women astronauts. Women miners. Women dentists. Women doctors. Women managing directors. What is it you haven't got?"

Well, all I can say is I would love to have a personal conversation with Sir Rose about Gender IQ and, yes, we do have women represented in most areas of work but ....and this is a big but...very few women, if any got to the top without feeling that they had to compromise their identity and literally morph into a bloke in a skirt.

It is time to widen the acceptable range of Leadership styles so that women can lead as women with a unique set of skills, traits and abilities.

Enough on that. Onto you and your 7 keys for increasing effectiveness. How have you been getting on implementing keys 1&2? I have had some lovely emails from people. Thank you, it is gratifying to know that this blog is helping you.

Tool Number 1: Communicate clearly and explicitly

Tool Number 2: Consistent Execution

Third Tool for Increasing Effectiveness: Manage yourself not your time
I have been re-thinking this whole subject because I have a lot of projects on the go at the moment and I am creating new products, writing a book, bringing you new web casts and being a great single parent Mum to my three daughters. Oh, and because I want to have 'it all' I am also committed to my health and fitness and having an exciting social life too.

Is it easy? Yes, but it requires discipline and the rewards far outweigh any downside associated with 'managing me'

Managing yourself is a big topic and includes both the philosophical and the practical. Next week I will focus on the practical, such as, best use of time and I will bring you some tips on terminating time-wasting discussions and controlling telephone and email.

However, before we get into the practical, we need the right mind-set. Women often look at their diaries and schedules and think 'there is no way I have time for the gym or my friends' and they leave themselves out. Bad decision!

It is vital that you take care of you first. If you don't take care of yourself you will be no good to anybody else and the impact will be felt in all of your relationships at work and at home. You must schedule time for exercise and relaxation into your diary first. Think about what sustains you and gives you energy and then ask yourself if you have more of that energy would you be more effective at work? Happy people are productive people.

Plan your week before it starts and plan each day before it starts and make 'me time' a golden rule that you never break.

I only ever speak passionately on a subject when I have direct experience of it. Like the pendulum that swings each way I know how effective I am when I am in a peak physical state and I know how ineffective I am when I tell myself the story that 'it doesn't matter' of 'I haven't got time' ....discipline weighs ounces but regret weighs tons.

Live with passion!
Tracey

7 Tools for increasing effectivness

2009-06-11T09:29:00.005+01:00

We had an overwhelming response to last weeks blog which invited you to download the free report on senior women's bench-mark competencies or Authentic Leadership. We hope you found it useful and remember we are here to support you in any way, so please contact us if you need further support or have any questions.

Onwards then with my promise to deliver the 7 Tools for Increasing Effectiveness. The first tool was communicate clearly and remember I gave you some practical steps to effective communication and I also said that you must master the inner game. How has that been going? It is so easy to let the 'chattering voice' take over at times of stress. However, blocking out unsupportive inner dialogue is a habit and it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. Give it a go!

The second tool for increasing effectiveness is consistent execution
So, you have communicated your vision to your team and everybody is fired up and ready to go. Everybody knows their role and responsibilities and you have clearly communicated your outcome and time-line.

And then.... everybody starts running around like a headless chicken! There is a big difference between being productive and being active. I would go so far as to say that lack of consistent execution is the death knell to many great plans and visions.

Put simply the basis of execution is to have 1. A plan 2. Communicate the plan and 3. Be explicit about tasks and not just outcomes. Develop a system that tracks progress on weekly tasks. Colour code for importance and colour code for progress i.e. yellow for 'in progress' green for 'complete and red for 'overdue' Share this spreadsheet with your team weekly or even daily so that everybody remains on target and accountable to each other.

Finally, in order to grow you must give up control. Release control by delegating not abdicating. You cannot abdicate responsibility but you must trust that the person you have delegated to will do the job and do the job well. You will know if they need extra support or knowledge because you will have created the systems for tracking as described above.

If all of this makes you groan then remember what George Bernard Shaw said 'Doing what needs to be done may not make you happy but it will make you great'

Live with passion!
Tracey

New report benchmarks senior women's leadership competencies

2009-06-03T11:12:00.005+01:00

Over the past seven years, we have had the privilege of having over 1500 hundred women go through our leadership programmes. The women have largely worked in the professions for large Blue Chip organisations and have been in the marshmallow layer, ready to take the next step into senior executive positions. In other words they are within the top 15% of employees within their organisation and already enjoying considerable success.

A significant proportion of these women also completed eve-olution's 360 degree performance review, developed in 2004 and based on well researched leadership theory. We have utilised the aggregate data from these reviews to come to some conclusions about competency benchmarks for women leaders. This information is being made available to you as we believe it may be a helpful tool to assist with drawing up a developmental plan to progress your career to a more senior executive position.

The Authentic Leadership Model

There are five broad and interrelated dimensions of leadership in this model and they are Building Relationships, Developing Self, Leading Change, Leading People and Leading Performance. We call this model Authentic Leadership because we strongly believe that women and men bring different skills, traits and abilities to the table. We hope that this will encourage you to lead in your own style, even if that differs from the traditional male model.

Building Relationships

Relationships are critical to any senior role. Your technological competence will get you a long way but your ability to form and nurture strategic relationships will be the key to your success in the long term. In relating upwards or downwards you need to know how to influence. Make sure that you have had some training and development in the area of influencing and negotiating plus development of your interpersonal skills. Bearing in mind that men and women, generally, tend to negotiate differently you need to make sure that your training includes this vital information. Also, take a look at your network. Is it political enough? As women we tend to focus on relationships with people that we like but we also need to make sure that we are nurturing relationships with people we don’t necessarily like but who we know can be useful professional contacts.

Developing Self

It goes without saying that those leaders who command respect are the ones who gain the most influence. How do we develop our personality to command respect? There is only one way to do this and that is to develop yourself. In order to lead others, we must first know how to lead ourselves. Yet how many of us take the time out to do this? In a time poor, process-driven world where output is king, the so called soft skills can be overlooked. Work harder on yourself than you do on your job!

Leading Change

Every business is currently going through change and every business needs employees who embrace and support change. It can be hard to be as flexible as the 21st century demands but it can be done. I am a firm believer in examining the 6 Human Needs to answer the question on how to be more comfortable with change. Ask yourself what you need most – certainty or uncertainty? Generally, people are more comfortable with certainty. Practise being outside of your comfort zone and being more comfortable with uncertainty. Try to reframe the process of change by seeing it as an opportunity rather than a threat.

Leading People

When you are leading your team, are you considering diversity, managing conflict well with a win/win attitude and working hard to make sure that your team functions as a highly productive whole? Managing people is an art form and this is an area where you can easily learn strategies for doing so. However, this has to be balanced with your ability to lead by example and this goes back to respect and the leadership competency of Developing Self.

Leading Performance

Profitability comes from high performance. How do you demonstrate accountability - both personally and from your team? How do you keep your team on track and focused on the goal? What do you need to know about the business, both formally and through your network? How is your financial literacy? Do you need to undertake an MBA? This is an area where business knowledge is key. Figure out what you need to know to perform and do what you need to do to get the requisite knowledge and know-how.

If you would like to know more about your individual leadership competencies we can help you with a practical step by step process. For a small fee you can take part in the 360 degree performance review and your scores will be mapped against the average scores for all the senior female leaders who have already taken part. One you have an idea of your strengths and weaknesses, as viewed by your team and line manager, we can offer follow-up coaching support to close the gap. Having the 360 degree report will give you something practical to work with over a long period of time. To take part click here.

To see the benchmark scores in all categories you, can download the free report.

Tracey Carr, CEO of eve-olution, has been working with women in leadership for the past 7 years and has run her flagship seminar Authentic Leadership (incorporating Gender IQ) for women all over Europe, in Asia and in the USA. She is also a Master Practitioner of NLP and a Professional Speaker.

Women Leaders, communicate clearly

2009-05-24T20:54:00.005+01:00

It has been a challenge to motivate myself to sit down and write this on a sunny Bank holiday weekend, especially as I am just about to head off to the Lakes for some well earned R&R! However, this very conflict leads me to my first point: Know your outcome!

Last week I said that I would give you some tips on how to communicate your expectations clearly and explicitly, but before we even get into communication strategies we have to accept that we must also manage the inner game. It is vital that we know what our outcome is. For instance; are you aiming to increase visibility for some reason or are you focused on increasing team productivity to hit targets or are you running your own business and focused on remaining profitable in a down turn? Whatever the reason, make sure that it is front of mind when you are communicating your expectations. Why? Because the power of your reasons ‘why’ will be communicated in your non-verbal body language and it is vital that you as a Leader remain congruent. If you don’t make a choice to do this, your non-verbal communication will be saying whatever is in your mind ‘did I pick up the dry cleaning this weekend’ or ‘isn’t this obvious, do I have to spell it out?’ Retain your power by focusing on your outcome. I’ll tell you mine at the end!

So, down to basics then, here are some tips on how to communicate your expectations clearly and effectively.

1. Define the task and the output. Tell the person what they have to do and how you expect the results to look. Take time to agree clear targets, goals and objectives
2. Make sure that the person has relevant experience. If you are not sure – ask!
3. Set the boundaries. What are the rules and constraints
4. Explain what resources are available i.e. money, people, materials, tools
5. Ask for feedback, try to elicit any reservations
6. Set a deadline and schedule
7. Be explicit about the measures/metrics and check for progress as you go along. Measure at intervals as well as at the end. Develop a progress chart if necessary that you and the team can use a monitoring tool
8. Be clear about the consequences for performance and non-performance – are there any bonuses/rewards or incentives?

The above list might sound like text book management-speak. However, how many of us really communicate in this way? And, as I said last week - the source of our frustration is often that our expecatons havent been met and this is often becaseu we havent communiated clealry eanough!

I promised to tell you what my outcome is for writing this blog. To reach as many women leaders as I can reach in my life-time through various channels that make it easy for them to access this information.

Would that be a better motivator than ‘Oh, boy I have to write another blog when it’s 22 degrees outside’

Please pass this on if you found it useful

With passion!
Tracey

Women leading perfomance management - rule number 1

2009-05-12T14:25:00.005+01:00

Everywhere I go I am hearing that performance management is key in the current climate. Many of our clients are under-going radical change and dealing with cut-backs/downsizing/merging or, at the very least, planning a new future with a more values based culture.

To address this need I am using the next few weeks to bring you 7 tools for increasing effectiveness. If you have access to an intranet site then please add the blog to the site or pass to your women’s networks in other ways.

This is not, of course, only necessary for women. These are essential leadership skills and so please do share them with your teams as well.

I was taught these tips by Keith Cunningham who made $100 million in the 1980’s, lost it all by 1991 and then made his entire net worth back again in 3 or 4 years. For more on Keith click here
www.keystothevault.com

Rules of the game: Number 1, communicate your expectations clearly and explicitly

If you are a leader who relishes processes and systems, then you may be thriving in this environment. However, I know there are a whole swathe of leaders who tend to be right-brained (intuitive and instinctive) by nature and don’t relish the idea of being buttoned down to KPI’s (key performance indicators)

I am also right brained. I love to rely on my imagination and instinct. As Einstein said – ‘imagination is more important than knowledge’ However, I know my weaknesses as well as my strengths and part of my job as a leader is to manage my weaknesses. Don’t try to make your weaknesses into strengths but don’t ignore them either. In other words play to your strengths and remember to manage the downside. As Benjamin Frankiln said ‘a small leak sinks a great ship.’

So, what do we do when we know that everything depends on how quickly and efficiently we deliver on our projects?

Rule number 1 is communicate.

If you have been on any of my programmes you will know what your bevioural drivers are. If you haven’t been on a programme it is easy to assess your drivers on the internet – just type into Google ‘Transactional analysis, Drivers’ and you will find on-line forms for eliciting this key information. Make sure you get coaching if you do this because it is important to understand the difference between learned behaviours and psycholgy. In other words know and understand what can you change and what you can't.

If you have a ‘hurry up’ driver then you must pay particular attention to this because your natural tendency may be to steam ahead and leave your team behind. However, we all do this to a certain extent. If you notice yourself getting irritated some of the time, it simply means that your expectations haven’t been met. Take this another step back and it could be that you haven’t communicated your expectations clearly enough.

Communicating expectations clearly and explicitly takes time and patience. What does the output look like? What are the key performance indicators? Be very explicit, not just about the activities that produce the cash but the activities that lead to better team work and better relationships in general. Be clear about the result you expect and the timeframe that you expect that result to be delivered in.

For practical tips on how to communicate your expectations clearly and explicitly watch out for next weeks blog.

With passion!
Tracey

Expert opinion in the Sunday Times

2009-05-06T10:08:00.006+01:00

I was asked for my 'expert' opinion for a Sunday Times article that ran last weekend on why so many women are opting to take the redundancy money and run. If you would like to see the piece which includes expert opinions from myself, Sarah Churchman who is Head of Diversity at Price Waterhouse Coopers and Gwen Rhys who is Chief Exective of Women in the City, please email me for a copy at tracey@eve-olution.net. The rest of the article can be found here.

Companies that are taking a short term view on this subject will face extreme talent shortages in the years that lie ahead. Money won't fix the problem either because women are rarely motivated by money alone. It takes 10 years of consistent effort to reach parity at senior levels. It can be done and has been done by Deloitte in the US who save $170 million a year on recruitment costs.

Whether you are leaving or staying in the corporate world, now is the time to take yourself very seriously indeed. True leaders will be emerging already. Those are the people who look as though they are in control, who are poised to take the big roles that fall out of the chaos. Who exude an air of confidence (not aggression) and look unruffled and charismatic. How do they achieve presence at such a time? There are only 3 things that matter: Physical, emotional and mental capacity.

Leaders now know that in order to remain focussed in a recession they must have a strong body. Being fit and healthy is the best thing you can do for yourself in a crisis. Also, as I mentioned in my last blog - those people who truly know themselves - their values/beliefs/strengths and weaknesses will know how to control and maintain presence by focussing on the inner game.

In taking care of your physical and emotional health you will have the foundation necessary to be flexible. In times of radical change this is an essential skill. Take the time to up-skill, learn how to be flexible and more entrepreneurial. Continuing education gives you options and choices about your future. Remember, there is nothing more common than unrewarded technical expertise. Think about McDonalds for a second - is that a nice place to eat? Do they serve good food?

McDonalds has made more money than anybody else in their industry in the history of mankind. It’s not about 'what' you do. It’s about 'how' you do it. You can’t play the game unless you understand the game.

If you want to learn more about all this then please come on my next seminar - June 17/18th Click here for more information.

You can also find out more about new video webcasts coming soon.

Leading or surviving?

2009-04-28T17:10:00.006+01:00

I was at a celebration event last week for the completion of the first cohort of emerging women leaders to go through a groundbreaking programme at one of our High Street Banks. I was touched and honoured to be presented with a bottle of champagne in thanks for my part but the real cheerleader is me.

I am cheering because I can see that these women have decided to step up and take the lead. Stories abound of supposed leaders who are surviving instead of leading. That is what happens when people don’t understand themselves. When people have an external locus of control and the world crumbles then they have to crumble with it. I say ‘have to’ because they have been reliant on external factors for security when the only security you can really have comes from the inside. That’s why I do strange things like jump off 40ft telegraph poles and walk on fire – not because I’m an adrenaline junkie but because I am constantly testing my inner voice.

What is your inner voice saying to you right now? Is it telling you that you can’t or that you’re not good enough? Take control of the voice. Don’t feed it with attention, starve the damn dog!

Here is an example of somebody who has decided that she is a leader in every way: Amy Bone (pictured above) is taking on an enormous physical challenge as well as holding down a busy and important role. I will be bringing you regular updates about Amy's progress over the coming months as I hope it will inspire all of us to bigger and better things – despite the recession!

In January 2010, I will be joining a team of 12 women from around the world to attempt to scale the three highest mountains in Africa (Mt Kenya, 5199m, Mt Meru, 4566m, Mt Kilimanjaro, 5895m) to raise money and awareness for three key issues facing Africa today – environment, education and healthcare. We will be only the third amateur all-female team to complete this challenge, and will complete in just three weeks. All women are paying their own expenses, so every penny raised will go directly to charity. None of us are climbers, or athletes, just ordinary women trying to do something extraordinary.

I came across three peaks by accident, after some time looking for a personal challenge to complete, and I couldn’t help but be touched by the personal stories of the communities this charity supports. The organisation was founded in 2004, focussed on generating financial support for already established East African organisations, with every mountain climbed supporting an organisation and community directly impacted by that peak. For example the communities of Mt Kenya directly benefit from that summit attempt through the support of the Laikipia Wildlife Forum. (more info on each charity will follow in subsequent updates).

As well as the physical challenge, fundraising will be a huge test leading up to this event. Personally I hope to raise at least £10,000 for my attempt, with current fundraising strategies including car boot sales, tube station collections and three peaks, three days, taking amateur climbers up the three highest peaks in the UK. This is what I perceive to be my biggest challenge at present – how to raise funds and support in what is the worst post war recession the UK has seen. It will be tough, but I am hopeful I can get there, and help add real value to the lives of many communities in Africa. I am extremely excited about this challenge, and consider myself very lucky to have been selected and have the chance to take part. You can support me and find out more at www.justgiving.co.uk/amybone1
Amy Bone is a Relationship Manager at a major High Street Bank.

Last but not least – look out for me in the Appointments section of the Sunday Times this weekend discussing the current outflux of women from the City

Live with passion!
Tracey

Women Leaders need an Organisation that supports them as women

2009-04-19T21:55:00.006+01:00

You may have noticed that I didn't blog last week. We had a very scary Bank Holiday in our family. My 18 year old daughter had a totally unexpected seizure and nearly lost her life. Thank God she is OK.

This kind of incident makes you re-calibrate everything in life and I was floundering for most of last week with questions like 'why am I trying to change the world when I could be having a simple life and spending time with my family?'

I know that you too, as women leaders, have such thoughts constantly. Not because you have dramatic incidents, necessarily, but because you are constantly re-assessing the work-life balance question.

I have been doing a lot of research on the female brain for my new book and now know that the way women think is wired into our brains. We are wired for empathy and men are wired for systemising. I am not making right or wrong judgements here - just excited to find some facts to back up the intuition, anecdotes and stories.

We also have brains that love to connect with people. With these differences making us more likely to be thinking about, and caring about home and work and family and friends all at the same time, we need employers who are Gender Intelligent.

Why do organisations need to be Gender Intelligent? Because women are no less brilliant for not being as 'focussed' as men and there needs to be more understanding between the masculine and feminine out there.

I hope that this little blog goes some way toward making you feel proud to be women leaders and not blokes in skirts. Get bolder, multi-task to your hearts content and be proud of your ability to juggle. Finally, ask for what you want.

I am very excited to be speaking with Sarah Speake (Industry Director at Google) tomorrow and she has some extraordinary stories to tell including the fact that she was headhunted for Google whilst pregnant!

Big round of applause for Google.

Don’t we all deserve the same dignity and respect? If you haven’t got it where you work .....what are you going to do?
If you missed this video last time I posted it - here it is again. PLEASE WATCH ;-)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuMZ73mT5zM

Michelle Obama inspires girls to become women leaders

2009-04-05T22:31:00.003+01:00

Michelle Obama made only one speech during her trip to London and that was at a girls-only, inner-city school, its pupils, of whom 20% are the children of refugees or asylum seekers, speak a total of 55 different languages and 92% of whom are from a black or minority background. And then, carefully, using personal stories and anecdotes, she drew parallels between her life and those of the girls in front of her, at times appearing close to tears.

"I want you to know that we have very much in common. For nothing in my life's path would have predicted that I would be standing here as the first lady of the United States of America. There was nothing in my story that would land me here. I wasn't raised with wealth or resources of any social standing to speak of...
"If you want to know the reason why I'm standing here, it's because of education. I never cut class. I loved getting A's. I liked being smart. I loved being on time. I loved getting my work done. I thought being smart was cooler than anything in the world."

She then went on to speak to the girls about the importance of them achieving their full potential so that they could take the reigns as women leaders for a new world and re-iterated that a Nations health is dependent on women’s participation.

I have said it before and I’ll repeat it here. As women leaders, whether we are 16 or 45, it is time for us to take ourselves more seriously than we ever have. The world is seeking a more values driven leadership and women are perfectly placed to fill the void.

The void will be filled. Nature abhors a vacuum. Will it be filled with something new or will we, because of our apathy, get more of the same?

What are you personally doing to take your life and opportunities to the next level? Do you need more education? Do you need to volunteer for a high visibility project? Do you actually need to say something that goes against the expected norm?

Please leave comments and inspire us with your stories and dont forget to live with passion!

This is a human issue not a gender diversity token issue

2009-03-29T22:06:00.007+01:00

I have recently been doing research for my new book and have been shocked and delighted to discover that much of what we always knew to be true (intuitively) has, in recent years, been verified by Scientists as Biological differences. I am talking, of course, about the differences between men and women. We have joked about men’s ability to ‘focus’ and women’s ability to ‘multi-task’ but did you know that babies have a female brain for the fist 8 weeks of life? Did you know that the boy gets doused with testosterone at 8 weeks and then the communication centres shrink and the sexual centre grows to double its original size?

These new findings are only possible because of advances in technology such as MRI scanning and PET scans. We know that women’s brains are wired and connected in a way that a man's isn’t. We know that men’s brains shut down multiple times during the day but a woman’s stays alert even when she is resting.

What is fascinating is that the corporate world doesn’t see this as a commercial opportunity. If you can have a mixed team where people can read emotions and think laterally combined with others who can remain on task at the exclusion of all else……is that better than the monoculture we perpetuate where, generally, only women who are at the male end of the spectrum get senior posts?

We know it’s better because Deloitte (who have been running Gender IQ™ training for decade) report savings of $190 million dollars in decreased turnover alone.

What are you doing to provide your team with Gender IQ™?

Watch this video, it will make you laugh and educate you too. Oh and don’t forget to pass it on!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuMZ73mT5zM

The trouble with being 'right'

2009-03-22T20:10:00.002Z

I have just completed another extraordinary 2 day event with women leaders from the UK and Europe and an enlightened man from Italy. Everybody gained new distinctions and created a new peer group of high flying A players (ordinary people doing extraordinary things)

We - women in leadership - had a blast! We nailed the concept of Gender Intelligence for Gender Diversity but the overwhelmng call was 'where are all the men?' Gender Intelligence is a human issue that affects everyone and we all need to educate ourselves for the 21st Century and beyond.

Sadly, there is still an old world where some believe they are 'right' about the inflexible corporate culture we have all become accustomed to.

If you are of the new order, pushing for change, then remember – there is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people feel safe around you so BE the change you seek in the world.

Remember also that there is no possibility in being ‘right’ – stay open minded and always willing to learn. If somebody has a different view point to you then be inquisitive – there may be something to learn. You cannot move from a fixed position.

Talking of fixed positions – I invite you to remember this. A really good example of why fixed positions must be challenged http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRLrWUIM_g4

Step up – Lead, Believe and most of all Live with Passion

With Great Respect

Tracey

Nothing to do with Women in Leadership

2009-03-13T14:12:00.001Z

Hello everyone

Some of you noticed that I didn't publish on Monday as usual. Internet was down - sorry!

As it is nearly the weekend I wanted to share this with you: The power of love and a reminder, for those who have been through my programmes, that communication is only 7% words.

Enjoy and love your loved ones this weekend

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btuxO-C2IzE

International Women's Day

2009-03-03T18:44:00.001Z

International Women's Day has been celebrated since in the early 1900's. Each year on 8 March, thousands of events are held throughout the world to inspire women and celebrate their achievements. It is also a time of reflection as Governments, organizations and individuals ask themselves what the women’s movement has achieved globally.

I was listening to Radio 4 this morning and the speaker on 'Thought for the Day' was reflecting on the fact that we still have a pay gap. In other words, despite the fact that we have had equal opportunities legislation for over 30 years, men are still paid 12% more than women for doing the same job.

I have a personal view on what causes the pay gap which may be controversial but, logically, there has to be some truth in it: Women simply don’t ask for pay rises!

I have taken 1000’s of women through our flagship programme GQ™ for Women Leaders and each time it's the same. On the first day before lunch we brainstorm the topic of gender differences and how the politics of these differences play out at work. Invariably, there is a rich debate about whether or not we should be asking for pay rises, where they are deserved.

Most women believe that it is enough to keep your head down and you will be recognised for doing a good job and rewarded fairly for it. This simply isn’t the case. Research shows that the person who is most visible gets the promotion and the person who asks for the pay rise will earn more. Generally, when a male graduate is offered his salary package he sees it as a starting point for negotiation and the female graduate accepts the offer and says thank you. If this disparity continues throughout their careers, is it any wonder there is a pay gap?

What are you not asking for? Where do you deserve more in life but are too shy to speak up? If you know somebody who could do with some coaching in this area, please let me know as I am offering 1 complimentary place on the next programme 19/20th March in Central London for International Women’s Day. http://eve-olution.net/services/seminars.asp

'One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.' ....Helen Keller

What about men in Leadership?

2009-02-23T10:32:00.002Z

There has been so much bad press on senior men in Financial Services that I think it only fair to say a few words to add some balance to the debate.

Gender Diversity affects everybody. Yes, that’s right – senior men as well. I laugh when I hear that Gender is only a strand of diversity. It is the only area of diversity that affects every single person in an organisation and at the moment men are getting the back lash for a lack of progress in equality over the past few decades.

Why has there been a lack of progress in representation of Senior Women Leaders? Because we currently only have one acceptable Leadership style and that is ‘command and control’ or Machiavellian tactics. We have all been programmed to believe that this is the style we must conform to or quit. Women vote with their feet and they leave, thinking that the price of conforming is too high. Men are more likely to conform because they don’t, generally, have the option of staying at home or taking a secondary and lower paid job. Many men that I have coached in senior roles have said some thing like this to me ‘I don’t like it either, I have to leave my personality at the door when I come in to work’

We have developed the concept of GQ™ or Gender Intelligence which goes a step further than emotional intelligence. If Leaders, men and women, have to lead teams in the 21st Century is it not a pre-requisite that they learn about Gender Differences? Is it not an absolute necessity if women are resigning and men are leaving their personalities at the door?

This is a common-sense issue but we are all too busy to see the wood for the trees. Gender differences can be understood by everyone of we look at it on a scale, with female skills, traits and abilities at one end and male skills, traits and abilities at the other. All of us – men and women – will be somewhere on this scale and most of us will be somewhere in the middle.

Sadly, it is only 20% of men and a tiny percentage of women, who are at the extreme end of the male scale, who seem to be running our companies and setting the cultural norm for the rest.

Let's open our minds to widen the scope of acceptable Leadership styles so that the other 80% of men and women can share power and dilute the Alpha male group think that has brought us nowhere.

Women Leaders it's time to step up!

2009-02-15T12:42:00.002Z

Last week I promised some coaching tips on how to achieve work/life balance. However, the Tiger in me is desperate to speak this week......

I have been working with corporations for 8 years on helping to address senior female representation, with passion! I also know that a lot of other diversity professionals have put their whole heart and soul into this work too. There were many times through those years when, behind closed doors, we would lament that too many organisations were simply paying lip service to Gender Diversity. It seemed that the only thing that really mattered was short term profit and immediate gain.

Last week, it was shocking for the whole country to learn that HBOS had ignored warnings from the FSA. What hope then, did we ever have of opening the eyes of certain executives to the blind spots that have thus far prevented true democracy? When I heard the news about HBOS and the FSA I felt that many years worth of effort had been wasted in some areas. Wasted because a 'nice to have' like women in leadership could not have been on the strategic radar if the FSA couldnt even get a look in.

That was then and this is now. The above realisation just made me more determined to be more vocal. It is logical and it makes sense to have women on the board and women leaders in all areas. This mess was made by men. Now let the women have their say

What are you personally doing to step up and lead? How are you thinking bigger? What steps are you taking to learn everything you can about how to progress as quickly as you can to take your position as a female leader? Please come on my 2 day event for women leaders to find out the strategies that successful women and men use all over the planet. It’s not rocket science but without it you don’t have the unwritten rules of the game of success. http://www.eve-olution.net/services/seminars.asp It’s on March 19/20th in Central London. First person to register gets a half price place!

It has been a great pleasure, recently to work with Lloyds TSB and easy to understand why they have achieved so much with getting women into senior positions. I have heard them called the ‘boring Bank’ Can somebody please explain to me what is boring about being responsible? .....interpret that as response-able

Make today a Masterpiece!
Tracey

Women in Leadership at Home and at Work

2009-02-08T20:34:00.002Z

Isn’t it the truth that just as your career begins to really take off, you also arrive at an age where you are responsible for ageing parents and/or time hungry teenagers? In the past four years I have experienced the debilitating illness and passing away of my Father and have been a single parent to three girls who are now 18, 16 and 13. Needless to say, the demands of a business combined with the demands of GCSE’s and A levels plus subsequent and natural teenage rebellion have sometimes felt like the work/life balance is seriously out of whack in favour of home!

Next week I am going to talk about the rhythm of work/life balance and seasons to offer some help if you are in this difficult mid-life stage, but this week I want to share some thoughts I had, today, on the spiritual lessons of parenting teenage children.

Hormones kick in at about the age of 15/16 and any relationship you thought you had with your son/daughter seems to morph into something unrecognisable. Struggle as you might, the Mother/child bond seems to have been broken at best or turned into full scale war at worst. I believe this is a natural process and part of natures plan to make young emerging adults independent from their parents. Worry not if your child is in this phase. It will pass and they usually emerge as beautfiul adults.

The key to any long term close relationship with our chidren is going to be dependent on our ability, as parents, to lead the family through the rapids. How do you do that when you are feeling stressed/pressurised and unfairly treated? I have learnt that the only thing to do is be consistently firm on your own boundaries and loving and caring no matter how unbalanced it might seem.

At this time, when we are being challenged in a way that we have never experienced before, and are under extreme stress, the reptilian brain kicks in and the fight or flight response emerges. The worst thing you can do to a rebellious teenager is fight or run. Both responses send an ‘I don’t care’ message that can exacerbate the situation. The spiritual lesson is this and it’s a hard discipline - stay put, stay loving, stay strong. Can you sometimes make mistakes too and shout the roof off? Sure you can! You are a human being who isn’t perfect (nobody is) and children need to know, by your example, that they have permission to make mistakes too and it’s not the end of the world.

I was reflecting on all this today on my usual run with the little dog. I came to the conclusion that worry is a fear based activity and asked myself what difference it would make if every response came from love? Doggie and I ran through a farm that had virgin snow on it and then into some woods. Just as I was making a great mental shift by asking myself a better quality question, I stepped….ankle deep, into mud where the snow had melted. I laughed out loud because this song was playing on my i-pod (play it loud for your team if you’re allowed) Mr E's Beautiful Blues

How are you leading at home and at work? What are you worrying about? Do you recognise worry as a fear based response? What would you do differently if you weren’t afraid? How would your responses be different if you stepped back, took a deep breath, disconnected from your reptilian brain and came from love?

How can you re-frame a stressful situation by asking yourself a better quality question and moving your body in some weird and dramatic way? Go on – put a big smile on your face!

Leading at home makes leading at work look like a walk in the park!
Live a great Monday

The Underbelly of Leadership

2009-02-02T11:21:00.005Z

Yes, I had to stay home today because I am snowed in. It’s the first time in my memory that we have had this much snow in Surrey and I am currently looking out through my french doors onto a truly beautiful Winter scene.

I have been absorbing a great deal of remarkable teachings recently. I attended Keith Cunningham’s 4 Day MBA which filled in all the gaps on my financial literacy and was very empowering. Remember – knowledge is power! This Saturday, I attended a women’s leadership event in London with 200 other women and enjoyed being a delegate and giving myself permission to learn (it would have been easy to say ‘I know all this' with my arms folded!). Remember – there is no learning from a fixed position so try to maintain a 'beginners mind' at all times.

On both seminars I was struck by the central theme being exactly the same. Two completely different subjects and only one point that really seemed to get LOTS of air coverage – the importance of good character.

Character is the under-belly of leadership. It is who you are when nobody is looking. It is who you are when you are at home as well as work. It is how well you engage with your principles and how you guard what is important to you. Ask yourself this ‘who am I when I disagree?’ Do you know yourself well enough to maintain dignity in all difficult situations. Do you use the law of assumption instead of clear communication? Are you defensive and agressive when you feel unfairly treated? Do you avoid rather than confront difficulties from an ‘I’m OK, you’re OK’ standpoint? Do you have a sober-minded view of yourself combined with self confidence? Can you be humorous enough for the people that you lead to feel comfortable? How would you rate your integrity on a scale of 1-10? Are you a servant leader or an autocrat?

Don’t underestimate the importance of these questions. They are the only questions that will move your life and your career forward. In order to have more (more health/wealth/love/money/success) we first need to become more.

Enjoy the snow!
Tracey

Gratitude

2009-01-27T13:48:00.003Z

Some of you may remember that before Xmas myself and my three children joined forces with other volunteers and packed 750 food hampers and delivered them across London to disadvantaged families.

Contribution makes us grateful for who we are and what we've got. I wanted to share the note below as a special reminder to you all that helping others brings us all so much.

If the credit crunch is getting you down - get out and do some good work!

''Dear Gingerbread I want to wish you Happy X-mas and a Happy new year. I want to thank you for the food you sent us for Xmas, IT WAS A TRUE GOD SEND!We had no idea that we even stood a chance of winning anything!I only receive £40.78 income support because of an over payment in 1999 and £43.00 child benefit for 3 children even though I have 4. I don't get child tax credit because I got an overpayment when I was working for 10yrs. So I only receive about £80.00 a week , I've had to send one of my children part-time to his dads because I can't afford to look all 4 of my children. I was sitting in my front-room thinking how was £40.00 going to buy us all Christmas food and drinks. I couldn't even afford to buy x-mas presents for my children. There was a knock at the door and a man and woman handed my daughter a hamper of food. I broke down in tears and prayed to God saying Thank You. I had £40.00 in my purse! I paid £10.00 on my gas and spent the £30.00 on soft drinks and pudding and 4 new pj's for my children. We was in shock but soooooooo greatfull. I will be back in employment next 2009 I pray to God!But I hope next year I too can return the gift that was given to me in my time of need to someone else. Once again all I want to say is Thank You Gingerbread and all your team that support your group. Thank you from me and my children Happy New Year.xxxxx

Your questions on fear

2009-01-21T10:28:00.002Z

I had quite a few questions regarding last weeks tip. Questions are good – keep them coming and please do feel free to start any conversation that takes your fancy on the Blog. I would be delighted to participate!

Some of you emailed me following my thoughts on fear last week and asked ‘isn’t fear a good thing? and especially in our current environment isn’t it irresponsible to be encouraging a proceed at all costs mentality?'

As in all things, be discerning! The absence of fear is not confidence, it is brain damage. If you are in a very dangerous situation then your reptilian brain will tell you to run. This kind of fear is normal and healthy. At the other extreme we may have such an irrational fear about public speaking that it is limiting our career progression.

Be honest with yourself? What are your irrational fears? Who do you need to speak to before the week closes? What decision do you need to make that you have been putting off?

Until next week, Live with Passion!

F.E.A.R

2009-01-13T09:53:00.001Z

What is fear? False Evidence Appearing Real

What are you worrying about unnecessarily? What are you projecting into the future and making yourself scared about? We are all facing a time of enormous uncertainty but that isn’t the real problem. Many years ago when I did my Scuba Diving training, off Bondi Beach in Sydney, I was scared….scared of Sharks, scared of Moray Eels, scared of not being able to breath. But the truth is ….I had never been in deep water in my life. In my fearful state I asked my dive instructor what was the cause of most fatal casualties in Diving and he said ‘people panic. It’s not the Shark that kills them but the panic they go into when they see one’

This lesson has stayed with me and is reinforced with every high risk activity that I undertake. Mountaineering and scrambling are another example of how important it is to master your own mind. When I am 3,000ft up in the air on a tiny ledge, the biggest danger to my safety is me and whether or not I can control my mind enough to stay calm enough to take the next step.

Business is a high risk activity. The days of certainty are over and everybody needs to have an entrepeneurial spirit to navigate the rapid changes that surround us. That means having a clear head, a strong sense of direction and leadership and belief not doubt. It is too easy to be hypnotised by the media’s doom and gloom and become stagnant waiting for calm or fighting for things to get back to normal.

Now is the time to take control of your mind and lead not follow. Remember that you will miss a full 100% of the shots that you don’t take.

With passion

The slippery run

2009-01-08T23:16:00.003Z

I went for a run today on the South Downs with my little dog. We have been doing the same circuit for a couple of years and in all weathers but today was different. The cold weather had frozen some of the ground but in places it had melted and created lethal slippery mud. As the Downs are hilly it quickly became apparent to myself and the wee dog that running at any kind of pace was not going to be an option. However, we both have a stubborn streak and were determined to complete the circuit somehow! Our only option was to walk/jog at a slow pace and be very careful about placing the feet - not in a rabbit hole or on a piece of ice or on slippery mud. This became quite a challenge!

I realised, as we were trotting round, that the run was a metaphor for how all of us should be working this year. The terrain looks very uncertain but does that mean that we should withdraw or worse, give up? No, of course it doesn't. It means that we should set goals and adjust our focus and our pace. We should be mindful of the slippery terrain and be careful about how and where we invest our time and energy, making sure that we are calibrating our 'state' for success. You can still reach the same goals but how you get there might be different this year. It is going to require you to be present and mindful about where you put your feet.

How present are you right now? As you read this are you also thinking about the project your haven't finished and what you are going to cook for dinner tonight? For those of you who have attended my seminar - where's the gorilla in the room? How present will you be with your loved ones this weekend? Will you rush through the weekend just to get it all done or will you choose to be present and think carefully about where you are placing your feet for success in 2009?

With passion, women leaders!
Tracey

New Year Weekly Coaching Tips

2009-01-06T09:22:00.002Z

This is the first week of our brand new initiative to give something back to you in 2009: weekly coaching tips from me via this blog.
I am really excited about this opportunity and look forward to sharing my thoughts on how you can make 2009 a great year despite the downturn. Now is a great opportunity to show that you are a leader and to decide to be part of the solution for a better world. It is those with character who will now shine, those with integrity. Indifference will be shunned in the new world and your skills as female leaders who are more risk averse will be celebrated.

There are over 4000 of you who receive our monthly updates and I believe we have an opportunity to make some radical shifts together. But if you aren’t signed up for the blog you won’t get the regular coaching tips! So please go straight to the subscribe box and simply fill in your email address to subscribe if you haven't already!

Please also pass this opportunity onto your friends and colleagues and share this article with them at the same time: 'An Economic Crash Women Might Have Helped Avert' (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/02/AR2009010202099.html).

Remember this and take responsibility for spreading this message: If three women heed the message and they tell three other women, there would be nine. If each of them passed the message along to three of their friends, there would be twenty seven. If each of these twenty seven passed the message to three of their friends, there would be eighty one. If these eighty one women talked to three others, in just 4 steps there would be 243. In nineteen steps – three to the 19th power – this idea would reach over a billion women (1,162,261,467). This is how geometrical progression works. This is how a virus spreads. This is how a call could bring together women in Cities, in corporations, in governing bodies everywhere to work together for a fairer and more sustainable world.

Let’s make 2009 really count!

The case for women leaders

2008-12-05T10:45:00.004Z

I just listened to this on Women's Hour on Radio 4 - an interview with the fabulous female Icelandic financier Halla Tomosdottir. A stunning bunch of articulate, focussed women -- furious that their country and their lives had been compromised by a small bunch of almost exclusively male wideboys. The wild risks these bankers took have resulted in three commercial banks being nationalised and the country being effectively frozen out of foreign exchange markets. But at least two smart women saw it coming -- financiers Halla Tomasdottir and Kristin Petursdottir set up Audur Capital in 2007, recruiting mainly women, and determined to exercise risk awareness in their choice of investments. According to Halla, "Our ground rule was simple. We won't invest in anything we can't understand." Since then Halla helped commission a report, published six months ago, which warned the Icelandic premier and Gordon Brown that Iceland's financial model was unsustainable. Now Audur capital is the only financial company left in Iceland with funds and with a staff recruitment programme.

A recent article in Management Today backs up the view that risk taking can be an over-rated skill! I firmly believe that more balance in the boardroom can only be good for companies and for the country and that the opportunities are around now for women to be recognised and valued for their 'female' qualities. This is Authentic Leadership - the ability to be yourself in your role as a leader.

We are in exciting times - let me know how the economic crisis is affecting your workplace. What steps are being taken to meet the new challenges we face?

Gender Awareness for men?

2008-11-13T11:13:00.002Z

I have just spent two remarkable days with 11 outstanding women from one of our High Street Banks who took part in our GQ™ for Women Leaders seminar. It was a profound experience for many reasons, but mostly because I was in the presence of some truly talented, inspirational women who had all come together to raise the bar on their professional and personal lives. The women brought commitment, energy and enthusiasm to the table and their attitudes as emerging leaders could not be faulted. We were able work on a variety of issues and one of the themes was gender differences at work and how the dynamics play out politically. We were able to share and resolve issues around the Double Bind – damned if you do and damned if you don’t and the women had a question – why aren’t men given this sort of awareness training? Don’t men need to know about the gendered characteristics of the women they are managing? Is it not imperative that male managers know how to get the most out of every single member of their teams?

I would love to hear what you think?

The Prime Minister on excessive risk taking

2008-10-28T14:16:00.003Z

Last week I was at a small private briefing with the Prime Minister and Lord Mandelson, amongst others, who were about to hold an urgent meeting with the CEO’s of Banks. I was happy to learn that the Government not only feels that the IMF is no longer fit for purpose but that stronger and more rigorous checks on behaviour and ethics would be needed in the future to prevent excessive risk taking. I was reminded of what I said last month: ‘'if we had more diversity would we have taken so much risk?' I put to you that the answer is ‘no’. Women generally ask lots of questions to mitigate risk. This gendered cultural (female) norm has been seen as weakness in some corporate cultures and when women have to ‘button up’ to conform they simply leave. Look at organisations who have few women in senior positions and you will know that outdated modes of behaviour still exist and it is time for change! The question is no longer ‘should we change?’ but ‘how do we change?’

It has been interesting form our point of view to see how different companies, Banks in particular, have responded to diversity recently. Some have categorically stated that Culture Change programmes are a luxury and non-essential spend. Others, like Lloyds TSB are still fully committed to creating a more equitable workforce where women and other minority groups can thrive. This attitude has prevailed, as far as I know, for at least the past decade and the results speak for themselves. Can I also make a spurious link that Lloyds TSB have come out of the current crisis in a stronger position than almost all of the Banks? Can it be a coincidence that a more open and people oriented culture gets better results than others?

World crisis creates perfect opportunity

2008-10-14T13:22:00.006+01:00

In the past seven years I have been in the fortunate and privileged position to have had the opportunity to listen to the views of thousands of women in leadership positions within corporations worldwide. Hearing common concerns prompted eve-olution to run its now legendary surveys 'Women Leaders Speak Out' in 2003 and 2005 and, as we anticipated, the research confirmed that women still felt held back by draconian attitudes and corporate cultures. The strongest reason for their non-advancement, they believed, was unconscious stereotypes.

I do believe that we all stereotype and I strongly agree that stereotypes of all kinds hold us back i.e. societal beliefs about women's capabilities and our own adoption of that belief system. However, I want to propose that there has never been a better time for us to step up and take leadership positions. In fact, it is imperative that we do. I believe that the only way to avoid further world catastrophes of the kind we have been seeing is for women to join the party. Whatever that party is for you - your own business maybe, corporate boardroom tables, politics, or the arts. Women need to be involved so that the testosterone is balanced and reason, rather than domination, has a better chance.

And what is the reason for my conviction that there has never been a better time? The world has just had a massive paradigm shift. The old order is dying out and there is a lot of uncertainty. Uncertainty creates opportunity! The irony is that eve-olution has always pushed for culture change, and has sometimes felt like a campaigning organisation, but I was always told that the system worked so why change it?

It seems to me now that the only question left to answer is 'how do we change?'

With Passion
Tracey

Welcome to evesdropping...

2008-09-23T10:55:00.001+01:00

Welcome to evesdropping, the place where I will share my observations, opinions and suggestions on topics related to women leaders and culture change. We have completely revamped our website and our services and this new blog will now replace our old familiar newsletters. I invite you to join me in friendly conversation and debate. If you have a topic you would like to discuss or a question, please email me at tracey@eve-olution.net.